Influence And The Three ‘R’s’ For Our Times

Imagine you were put in a position to exert permanent influence on mankind. What your message be?

What does 'influence' really mean, anyway? Is 'influence' determined by the quality of content, or is 'influence' measured by how many people hear and absorb the message?

Do ideas become great only after they are accepted by masses of people?

Ali Eteraz quotes from Genesis:

Genesis 18:32 "For the sake of those ten," He replied, "I will not destroy it."

The verse is referring to the exchange between Abraham and God, as Abraham pleads with God to spare Sodom and Gomorroh. God agrees to spare those cities if ten good men are found.

Sometimes, masses of people are what it takes to make a difference. Other times, only a handful of decent people can make a difference.

In fact, real influence isn't determined by the numbers. Real influence is determined by the quality of the message. Often, there are deliberate attempts to impose influence and ideas. That is best exemplified by Nazi, socialist, communist and even radical Islamic ideologies. In the end however, great and influential ideas, like great and influential art, survive the test of time. Citizen Kane and Gone with the Wind remain great cinematic art- Terms of Endearment and The Sting, Academy award winners each, will not fare as well.

An influential message may take years, even centuries, to realize full potential. Real influence endures. Shallow influence is fleeting.

Religions endure because the messages and lessons they endorse are meaningful and uplifting. Religions that demean and marginalize people or are predicated on hate, in the end, will lose credibility.

In fact, the most influence any individual can have is the influence he or she exerts on him or herself. Will we challenge ourselves to reach our potential or, will we submit to our baser selves?

We all ask ourselves the same question: Do we matter? Do we really matter? We noted, In A World Without You In It, that

On the face of it, we are part of a dispensable and disposable world. Whole populations are killed and are seemingly forgotten. As events around us fly by at the speed of light, there is no real sense that our lives- or anyone else's for that matter, are of significant or meaningful merit in the great scheme of things.

In fact, we suffer a kind of debilitating malaise- “Nothing I do or say really matters.” There is the belief that whether or not we contribute anything to the the world and those around us, the world would be no different. It is the 'my vote doesn't really count' school of thought. No matter our efforts, nothing will ever really change.

If you truly believe that your efforts and contributions are meaningless, can you really know and have passion? What can you truly look forward to, what will truly excite you? To what can you truly be committed? Will you ever know that 'fire in the belly'?

In fact, we each have the capacity to influence mankind, with our actions, dreams and beliefs. How we behave, the goals we set for ourselves and the nature of our beliefs is ours alone. We are each uniquely qualified to make a difference.

There are those that might argue that they are 'wounded' or carry 'too much baggage.' These people 'depersonalize' their own value or worth. Those individuals question their own worth and indispensability- and then demand attention and sympathy. "Value me because I am worthless," is their plea (They do not see the incongruity of their own self perceptions).

The best therapists reinforce the inherent value of their patients- because it is from within that inherent value that the therapists patients find the strength to overcome the obstacles that weigh them down and preclude them from achieving the greatness- big or small- that they are capable.

Influence is not determined by sheer strength or by Darwinian survival skills. Influence is determined by how well we realize what our capabilities and capacities are- and how best to reach those capacities. Recognizing and understanding those capacities is the most personal and intimate expression of self knowledge.

Mass communications, mass production, mass depersonalization and the massive amounts of statistics threaten to become the source of our identities and worth. We are increasingly defined, measured and valued by our banks accounts, credit card limits, looks, clothes, homes, and the like, threaten to turn us into commodities rather than individuals, our worth determined by our association with certain agendas. Clarence Thomas isn't a story of success- depersonalized, he has become an 'Uncle Tom' or a 'House Nigger.' Condi Rice is referred to in even more vile terms. That's what happens when people become commodities- no more than statistical and demographic 'blips.'

Is it any wonder then, that people feel insignificant? Here's something to ponder. Can two people, 'commoditized,' experience real love? Can parents really parent if their own sense of worth is defined by a cold and impersonal materialism? Will relationships become no more than expressions of selfishness? These are real possibilities. Both Dr Sanity (here) and Shrinkwrapped (here) have written extensively on ever growing narcissism and the effects that narcissism has on our culture, society and families.

What can be extrapolated from their discussions is clear. The tsunami of narcissism is an almost reflexive expression of a clear dysfunction. When 'You don’t matter; your feelings don’t matter; your function and purpose here is to serve my needs,' are considered a form of healthy and acceptable 'expression,' is it really a surprise that deep and real interpersonal relationships and happiness, elude so many?

In a world where technology and deliberate depersonalization threatens to tame us, instead of the other way around, the need to recognize our own capacity and potential for good is more important than ever. We must recognize, reflect and react to the deliberate attempt to dehumanize and belittle our significance- the three 'R's' of our own redemption.

Influence, like charity, starts at home.