Pricasso: Penile Artist, Dream Patient

August 14, 2006

The world of analysis can be an exhausting, lonely, tough slog. It can wear you down and leave even the best of therapists cold and detached.

Of course, every now and thn there is the ‘dream patient,’ the one who is so nuts that even the best, most somber and professional therapist can barely contain themselves. They want to treat that patient, just for the bragging rights.

These are the kind of patients that make the treating therapist a legend (and the cockatil party star at every psychiatric convention for decades) as he or she hold court, recount the dysfunction and therapy and exaggerates both, for decades.

And now, the tale of Pricasso.

Sydney – The 10th anniversary Sydney Sexpo opened on Thursday with what has to be a world first – an on-the-spot portrait by a “penile artist” of a “genital origamist”.

Artist Tim Patch, who prefers to be known as Pricasso, uses his penis as a brush to execute surprisingly good portraits in acrylic paint.

His subject, Justin Morley who goes by the professional name Alan Length, uses his penis as a puppet, creating everything from hamburgers and windsurfers to the Loch Ness Monster and the Eiffel Tower.

They were the starring acts as the four-day Sydney Sexpo got underway at the former site of the agricultural Royal Easter Show, with a record crowd of more than 55 000 expected to tour the vast halls.

Stands offer an extensive range of sex toys, specialist lingerie, aphrodisiacs, breast and penis enlargement, and bad puns.

‘Puppetry of the Penis’ show

Morley, 33, has been in the business for some time, having achieved international renown alongside his brother when they toured the United States in 2001 with their “Puppetry of the Penis” show.

Pricasso, however, is a neophyte in the world of penile art, having taken it up on a dare from a woman friend at a party last New Years’ Eve.

A father of four who studied furniture design when he failed to get into a fine arts course and then spent most of his life as a builder, he now paints portraits for about $200, with a Sexpo special price of just $75.

He is a modest, almost shy man, whose efforts to embrace a showbiz persona extend to saying he believes he is the world’s only penile artist, but if not, he’s “certainly the greatest”.

“I still do a bit of building to subsidise my meagre income as a struggling artist,” he told AFP, adding that his eldest son thought he had a “fantastic job”.

Pricasso’s budding showmanship also extends to his outfit, all in silver – a top hat, a long “flasher-type” coat with trouser legs which start at the ankles and end at the knees, and nothing else.

“I was embarrassed to start with,” he said before stripping off the coat to paint Alan Length, fully dressed in cape and bare legs. “It sounds really weird but if you see it being done it doesn’t look too bad.”

He’s right on both counts. With show organisers, journalists and scantily-clad women milling around at the media preview, his naked brushwork, using a palette on a low stand and holding the canvas in his hand, soon seems weird but not too bad.

So what did the trail-blazing penile puppeteer Alan Length think of his portrait by the newcomer to the artistic potential of the penis?

“Not bad, considering he did it in 10 minutes,” he said, with perhaps a trace of penis envy.

Morley, makes a living from penis puppetry – which he calls “dick tricks” – offering performances at women’s “hen’s nights” and at sports club fundraisers.

What does his girlfriend think of his job? “When I leave she says ‘Good luck with the show, don’t let them touch’.”

Does it get any better than that?

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4 Responses to “Pricasso: Penile Artist, Dream Patient”

  1. Gagdad Bob Says:

    The puppet guy wanted to call his show “Magic Johnson,” but the name was already taken.

    But I think the painter made the right decision to change his name to “Pricasso.” In my opinion, his previous name, “Pickleangelo,” was pretty lame.

  2. SC&A Says:

    Peter (Petey) Painter?

    Has a ring to to it, don’t you think?

  3. Carl Holmes Says:

    Yet another sign of a man thinking his phalics are “all that and more”. I do not dare to think what is next.

  4. MaxedOutMama Says:

    Literal to a fault, I immediately wondered at the effects of exposure to paints upon such tender tissues. And then there are the cleanup issues…. Turpentine or harsh soaps would seem to be precluded.

    Perhaps he (or his penis) specializes in watercolors? Perhaps he could do a joint show with one of those artistic elephants?

    I did not keep a straight face.

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