Why Dogs Bite People

September 27, 2006

We have already opined on pet blogs, pet owners who blog and pet owners who really believe their pets also blog.

Changing kitty litter or getting your mangy dog to crap outside does not in any way constitute brilliance on your part or brilliance on the part of your pet. It is not the equivalent of teaching your child to look both ways before crossing the street. That’s right, we said it. Your animal is not an equivalent to a child. OK, so we’ve managed to offend a few of you that really do believe an animal-human relationship is the equivalent to a human-human relationship. That said, if you indeed believe that, you’re an idiot.

Writing a blog in a cat/dog/hamster/fish voice is entertaining only to yourself and that small galaxy of morons who feel the need to do the same.

If the rest of us don’t really care about what you have to say in your personal blog (trust us here, we don’t. Having a second blog written by/about a pet is a fair indicator of that), why on earth would you think we care about the imaginary conversations you have with Fluffy or Spot? If we don’t think your child learning to crap into into a porcelain bowl is riveting Pulitzer Prize material, it is a safe bet that reading about your feelings on a certain brand of kitty litter or your pet’s favorite made-in-China toy will not be adapted into a major motion picture screenplay.

If we have the uncontrollable urge to read about skeins of wool, there are knitting blogs aplenty that can calm that jonesing need, without seeing little itty bitty kittens frolicking, entagled in that skein of wool, trapped in paper bag or playing with tinsel. Those activities are not unique to your pet.

Read it all here.

Now, these are the reasons dogs bite their owners;

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13 Responses to “Why Dogs Bite People”

  1. Fausta Says:

    Aaargghhh! Who would do that to a bassett?

  2. SC&A Says:

    Sadly, there are even more such photos.

    That said, I LMAO when I saw those pics!

  3. kimsch Says:

    I got that as email the other day. My Shih Tzu is currently wearing a fashionable blue ‘lampshade’ to keep her from biting her flank. The shape is quite reminiscent of the bowl of a martini glass. Therefore, I will be making her an olive and toothpick out of felt and quilt stuffing and she will be a puppy-tini for Halloween.

    Yes, she did look at me with the “oh what indignities I endure” look when we first got the collar.

    She’s still going to be a puppy-tini for Halloween.

    So Doctors, vat does dat say about me?

  4. SC&A Says:

    Mother issues.

  5. kimsch Says:

    Pictures will be posted!

  6. Dr. Sanity Says:

    I have a cat that will jump up on the sink and brush her teeth when I do. What do you think that means?

  7. expat Says:

    I stopped dressing dogs in doll clothes when I was about 8. We had a litter of pups, all of which were named for pop songs of the day. I think 8 is a pretty good age to end the foolishness. As an adult, I had a cat who was probably the SC&A of the feline world. He really had my number, but he didn’t wear Prada.

  8. Cassie Says:

    Funny blog! Meet my girl, Tillie!!

    She’s never bit me, but we’ve caused quite a few people to get whip lash when she hangs her head out the car window and if you were there for that, you’d really laugh!

    I’m a pet stylist, so she’s subjected to all sorts of groomer humor! This gets her all sorts hugs and kisses from complete strangers and a few pictures in their photo albums too. It’s a fare trade, I think??? Let me go ask her…

    She said to tell you she loves it! LOL :) Cassie

  9. Cassie Says:

    Backkk again!
    Here is a whole buncha FUN pics of my girl and my work as a dog whisperer/groomer/pupNUTT!


    *No chemicals were used. No pets were injured or tortured* LOL

    I use Back To Nature, Pet Silk Products and/or food coloring, both of which are non toxic; safe for pets and people, but still very, very MESSY!

    :p Cassie Morr

  10. I am very impressed with the dog costumed as Cerberus.

    Bet those three heads eat a lot of dog food food, though. Probably enough bags of meat by products and fillers to block the gates of Hell…kinda like high protein sandbags.

  11. Groomers Dog Says:

    Look…Why Dogs Bite People

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