Now Don’t Panic, But The Nude Olympics Have Been Postponed

That’s right. Due to bad weather, the Nude Olympics have been postponed for a couple of weeks. Our readers and fans will just have to cope as we grin and bare it.

You could take this break in the action to go in for a boob job, lip job or butt job.

Or, you could hurry over to Dr Sanity for a brain job.

That’s right. If the only Nude Olympics events you are even remotely qualified to enter are eating copious amounts of fast food while naked or eating crunchy or crumbly snack food while driving nude, chances are two weeks and a ‘dream team’ of plastic surgeons won’t be enough to make a difference (chances are two years and the entire surgical staff of Mass General won’t have enough time to make a difference).

Dealing with reality might just be just what the doctor ordered. Put on that form fitting oversized track suit with vertical stripes (you know, the one that makes you look like grand piano standing on it’s side), prepare a plate of bacon, krispy kreme donuts and chips. Add a 3 liter bottle of store brand diet creme soda and a box of toaster pastries and you are good to go. Head over to Dr Sanity’s Carnival Of The Insanities and you’ll be better prepared to enter the Naked Brain Olympics.

That’s right- you’ll be able to wow your partner, impress your kids and put that dumbass teacher that insists your kids really don’t need to know how to add, as long as they can get along, in his or her place.

Attending just one Carnival Of The Insanities will make you smarter than ‘Alpha Male‘ Al Gore or Jean L’idiot Kerry. Visiting Carnival Of The Insanities twice or more will make you smarter than virtually all Europeans, radical Islamists and most Americans.

Regular readers of Carnival Of The Insanities are so smart, they even know how the pantyhose gets into the egg and never put diapers on backwards, In fact, regular readers never, ever, have trouble with the tape.

Carnival Of The Insanities- better than the Nude Olympics.