“Men are like that, you know”

A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.

The first does a total make over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.

The man was impressed.

The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.

Again, the man is impressed.

The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.

Obviously, the man was impressed.

The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he’d given her.

Then, he married the one with the biggest boobs.

Men are like that, you know.

Religion And Politics

What is about about religion that scares so many people? The vast majority of people who express their faith, do so quietly and usually within a community of like minded believers. They, like most Americans, hold the concept of ‘live and let live,’ dear. Most Americans do not impose their belief on others nor do they support those who do.Nevertheless, there seems to be a deliberate attempt to lump all believers together, regardless of their affiliation. We talk about the ‘moderate’ right, or the ‘moderate’ left, but when we talk about religious people the word ‘moderate’ is never spoken or implied. Religious people, it is assumed, are, well, religious. Enough said.

Religious people, as we noted, are for the most part, perfectly happy to live life in happy obscurity. Unfortunately, all too often religious people are dragged into political debate, or they are excluded from political debate, simply because they are religious. Faith seems to infuriate some people. The faiths, beliefs and believers that are shared and so familiar to most Americans are often subject to fierce criticism, ridicule and even vicious attack.

Of course, not all not all faiths are treated in the same way. Religious beliefs that are out of the mainstream of those that originate in far away places, or beliefs that are to be regarded as suggestive only, are fine.

Why is there such a disparity in how adherents to different faiths are treated?

The answer lies in the kind of demands and expectations our faith, beliefs and fellow believers make upon us . Real faith demands morality, not just from the individual, but from an entire community as well. Faith demands sacrifice. Friday, Saturday or Sunday prayer instead of Friday, Saturday or Sunday sports or shopping. Real faith demands that charity, given on a regular basis, without the need to be prodded by guilt or by images of disaster.

Religions are not measured by what they destroy, but rather, by what they build. Religions are not measured by how many they kill in God’s name, but rather by how many they save in God’s name. Religions are not measured by who they hate in God’s name, but rather, they are measured by how many they extend their arms in acceptance, in His name.

Those non believers or those who claim to be believers, who profess hatred toward God or others in His name, reject the notion that there is something more important than the self. They reject the notions of responsibilities, accountability and a living up to higher expectations. They reject the notion of a higher self with moral obligations. They want to be free of obligation and expectation.

The confrontation between believers and non believers is really a battle for the soul. That battle is not so much about belief in God as it is about the human conscience. There are plenty of non believers that believe that we are more than just animals, concerned only with our own pleasure and needs and thus understand the significance of human responsibility and accountability.

In fact, the battle for the soul of an individual or a nation is a battle that scares a lot of people, because if there is even the possibility of a soul, everything changes.

The atheist says, “I don’t believe in God.” In truth, people of faith don’t believe in the God the atheists reject, either.

Non believers cringe at the words ‘Fear of God‘ and other similar expressions. They only see fear as a negative expression- the fear of the powerful intimidating the weak. They rightly understand that ‘fear,’ as they understand it, is a negative expression. They use that expression, as a mantra- because without it, the argument weakens.

What many non believers do not admit is that fear is not always a negative human emotion. Often, fear can be a positive expression. For example, when an athlete faces his opponent or a when a public speaker first faces an audience, the nervous fears they experiences can lead to heightened awareness. All his or her senses are at a heightened level. Any and all of the skills and capabilities they have worked so hard to achieve, can be called upon in an instant. In fact, every one of us knows the kind of fear that can brings out the best in us.

The right expression and description of a believer’s relationship with God is ‘Awe.’ When we stand and behold the magnificence of nature, we are in awe. When we gaze upon an artist’s work that talks to us, we are in awe. There is music, sounds created out of thin air, that make us cry or can evoke memories, for decades. That too, inspires awe.

In fact, the awe we experience is a manifestation of human dignity. We see and understand ourselves to be a part of a greater scheme. We understand ourselves to be a part of the masterpiece that is Creation. We- each of us, have a starring role in the play of life- Creation. It is an unfolding drama, comedy and musical- with our best efforts and intentions a part of the script. We are not meant to ad lib our way through life. We are obligated and meant to make Creation an even more magnificent expression that It is, and we each of us have lead role in doing just that.

It is clear that when standing in Awe of God, we recognize what the gift of life means.

When we acknowledge the gift of life, we acknowledge that we have a purpose. We may not understand or even clearly understand our purpose, but we don’t have to, any more than we have to clearly understand nuclear physics or organic chemistry. We know they are there and they impact our lives. That is enough.

It is man’s objective to seek- it is a natural instinct. It is what we look for that to a very large extent, defines us. It is our charge to discover and celebrate, not our basest selves, but rather, that part of us that is as majestic as anything in nature or art. We are charged to take center stage in God’s creation. We seek the majesty that is in each of us- we seek to know our own soul.

It is not easy. It is not easy at all. We must acknowledge that even if we are to take center stage, we share that stage with everyone else- and sometimes, that may go against our very nature. It is then that we must put in that performance of a lifetime. Like the athletes that play beyond their capabilities in that last game, we must reach inside to our souls, to pull from within the very best of ourselves, especially when it seems the odds are stacked against us.

Sometimes, center stage can be a very scary place- and that is why so many people fear having a soul.

All gardens need tending. If we can remove the weeds in life- those things that restrain, contain us and hinder our growth, we will grow. When we refuse distort the reality we know exists so that our selfish needs are sated, and when we choose to remove the doubts and fears that hold us back, we will thrive.

We may indeed, be small in the eyes of history and Creation. That doesn’t mean we can’t be great.

No Face In The Mirror?

 

We wrote

…”The difference between what we do and what we are capable of doing would suffice to solve most of the world’s problems.”

Clearly, within the search for community is also the search for meaning. The search for meaning is also a call for an audit of our attitudes, biases and values. That ‘inner audit’ has to be done in the context of our relationships with others and even our own closely held beliefs. Our existence, as we and others relate to it, is really no more than a manifestation of our inner selves. Virtually every problem we face is the conflict between our ‘inner’ and ‘outer,’ or manifested, selves. Reality is the expression on canvas of our ‘inner’ and ‘outer’ selves.

Real self esteem is derived from ‘selfless esteem.’ No matter what great strides we have made in technology and interdependent economies and societies, we must make a difference in the lives of others if we are to make a difference and find meaning in our own lives. Information and technology will not make our world a better place. They can contribute to the effort, but no more.

We want to pick up on that theme, because left unanswered is a simple question: Do our lives really matter? Would the world be a different had we not been born?

On the face of it, we are part of a disposable and dispersible world. Whole populations are killed and are seemingly forgotten. As events around us fly by at the speed of light, there is no real sense that our lives- or anyone else’s for that matter, are of significant or meaningful merit in the great scheme of things.

In fact, we suffer a kind of debilitating malaise- “Nothing I do or say really matters.” There is the belief that whether or not we contribute anything to the the world and those around us, the world would be no different. It is the ‘my vote doesn’t really count’ school of thought. No matter our efforts, nothing will ever really change.

If you truly believe that your efforts and contributions are meaningless, can you really know and have passion? What can you truly look forward to, what will truly excite you? To what can you truly be committed? Will you ever know that ‘fire in the belly’?

Of course, that way of thinking is skewed. You matter because you were born. For those of you that believe in God, man’s destiny is waiting to be written by virtue of your efforts and passions. For those of you that do not believe in God, the power and potential of man is in your hands. This means that your very existence is vital. You are indispensable to mankind.

What notes will you choose to play in the symphony of life? Will you add to the music, or will your efforts be lacking, resulting in a hollowness?

Many people have had the great misfortune of growing up in less than ideal, or even dysfunctional families. There is no question that many of us, in one form or another, carry a certain amount of ‘baggage.’ That truth begs another question: “Is my worth based on whether or not I was valued at home by my immediate family, is it based on my achievements, or, do I matter because I exist?”

The almost universal knee jerk reaction is, “Of course I matter! My family, friends and community value and love me!”

Now, ask yourself again, that initial question- would it make a difference if you were never born? Would those around you be poorer for not knowing you?

In fact, you do matter. Not because of your wealth or looks, or productivity or great ideas. You matter because you were born- and because of the potential contributions you might make in that symphony of life. In fact, there are those notes that only you can play. You are irreplaceable. Just ask those people who love you and care for you. It is incumbent upon you to contribute to their lives and their well being. That in fact, is the greatest of destinies- to transform and make better, those around you. If you can do that, you will have changed lives, forever.

Once you understand those truths, that you know that you and what you contribute are essential to the wellbeing of others, the passion and fire cannot be extinguished.

There is much tragedy and suffering in this world. If every person understood that they matter, their lives matter and the notes they play matter, they would come to understand that they are indispensable and of great value.

People who believe and know they matter are capable of great things.

We quoted someone who understood what was really important:

…said that the home of man is his wife. I’m very sorry that my home is not here. My home had the biggest impact on my life. She always told me: ‘You scientists can write endless articles, but most of them will be forgotten over the years. I influence the education of my children, and I too will be forgotten in another 150 years – but my influence will exist, and dozens and hundreds of children will walk around who were influenced by me…’

You matter a lot more than you think.

Some of this post was published on 21 October, 2005.