The Wednesday Weekly Whacky Award Goes To….
February 28, 2007
The SC&A Academy of Extremely Peculiar Pathologies, is pleased to announce the winners of the first of our Weekly Wednesday Whackjob Awards, commonly referred to as the ‘Whacky’s.’
Nominations will open each week until 10:00 PM, EST (After the broadcast of House, M.D.).
Each week, a ‘Whacky‘ will be in each of the following categories:
The Thorazine Shuffle and Dance Award, presented each week to the politician who dances and shuffles without actually answering a question, goes to Hillary Clinton and her on again, off again mambo with her Iraq war vote record.
The Thomas Szasz Psychotherapy Award, presented each week to the biggest idiot therapist we can find, goes to the psychiatrist that prescribed Zyprexa to a 2 1/2 year old child.
…if not for the disruption by Rebecca’s untimely death, this family represented five steady customers for the “mental health industry,” with 100% of the costs for doctor’s visits and prescriptions paid for by public health care programs.
Psychotropic drug expert, Dr Ann Blake Tracy, Director, International Coalition for Drug Awareness, and author of “Prozac: Panacea or Pandora?,” says, “this is what is referred to as the “Family Discount,” when everyone in the family is drugged.”
And this is the type of tragedy she worries about, Dr Tracy says. “The parents unable to function, the children acting up and unable to function – all due to the effects of the drugs.”
The Valium Award, presented to the dullard of the week goes to the Prince Charles and the Duchess of Cornwall, for “Going back in time.”
The Prince and the Duchess came across the campfire scene during a visit to Bastakia, a heritage site where the homes of Persian merchants were built in the 1890s.
The area was saved thanks to Charles, who suggested a number of years ago to the Dubai authorities that the area should not be redeveloped but restored.
When he arrived, Rashad Bukhash, chairman of the UAE Historical Society, thanked the Prince for his efforts saying: “If it wasn’t for you this would not be here now.”
The Trojan Award, presented each week to the person we wish had never been born, goes to Ronald E Kuch. No amount of therapy can fix some pathologies.
The NutriSystem “I’m Not So digusting to My Spouse Anymore” Award, given to the biggest loser of the week, is awarded to the Media Conspiracy To Make Hillary Look Good.
…actual humans are not buzzing about Gore’s Oscar. They’re buzzing about Rudy on one side and Obama on the other.
The Haldol Honor awarded each week to the person or persons most out of touch with reality, either on or off medication goes to the ‘Nazis Who Call Jews Racists.’
Although Massad’s lecture began with an acknowledgment of Israel’s “substantive and psychological” desire for peace, he soon added that Israel has simply requested that the world recognize its “right to be a racist state.”
Now for a bit of reality:
Anyone who hopes for peace should be horrified by the content of the latest set of Palestinian schoolbooks. In many respects, these new books for Grade 12, written by Fatah-appointed Palestinian educators, are the worst of the textbooks produced by the Palestinian Authority since 2000. These newest books deny Israel’s right to exist, anticipate its destruction and define the conflict with Israel as religious, not merely territorial…
Because Israel has no right to exist, and must be fought and destroyed for Islam, violence and terror against Israel since its founding are justified and glorified as muqawama, resistance: “The tragedy of Palestine of 1948 and afterward the muqawama in which the inhabitants carried acts of most glorious heroism and sacrifice” (Arabic Language, Analysis, Literature and Commentary, grade 12 p. 105).
The Methamphetamine Medal, awarded each week to the most hyper, histrionic, hysterical, spaced out documented behavior goes to the teacher who cut a pupil’s tongue with a pair of scissors.
The teacher, a support tutor on a temporary contract, risks being fired from the elementary school.
The Viagra Statuette, awarded to the wimpiest metro sexual (male or female), goes the person who demanded to know Why Don’t Men Wear Makeup?
(Third Runner-up, Second Runner-up, First Runner-up)
The ECT Battery Award, presented to the most shocking news story of the week, goes to the man who lost three, then found three.
Darmi Ali lost his three daughters and wife to the 2004 tsunami in Aceh. The 44-year-old remarried and last week became a father again – of triplets, all of them female.
The HRT Prize, awarded weekly to the loudest and most inconsequential feminist drivel the SC&A jury can find, goes to Journey To Enlightenment. There are no words.
Read the entire post.
Nominations for future awards can be emailed to sigmundcarlandalfred at gmail.com
FLASH NEWS!
February 28, 2007 at 5:09 pm
This is AWESOME!! Laughed enough that my psychologist friend in the office down the hall sent for the folk in the white jackets.
Oh, the ignominy of being the worlds 3rd greatest psychotherapist being dragged off to the … well, you get the idea. Again, great post and very funny (and oh-so-accurate) choices.
February 28, 2007 at 5:34 pm
Thank you, GM!
Clearly, you have exquisite and refined taste.
February 28, 2007 at 5:58 pm
Brilliant!
March 1, 2007 at 2:28 pm
There’s something queer about awarding the Thomas Szasz Psychotherapy Award to a psychiatrist whose idiocy is a careless liberality toward dosing patients with drugs. Offer the Szasz’s Bipolar Opposite Award to that idiot psych, instead.
(I don’t know about GM but that oddity explained my laughter upon reading this week’s Whackys to the satisfaction of all the nice young men in the clean white coats.)
March 9, 2007 at 5:23 am
You get the Adderall Award for focus. This is SO funny. Thanks especially for bringing in the Palestinian reality. People have to know. Perhaps we can put Seraquel in their water.