Political Appointments

New York, (MHNN)- Hillary Clinton’s revelation yesterday that she would appoint her husband, former president Bill Clinton as ‘Ambassador to the World,’ charged with ‘repairing America’s image abroad,’ caused a political firestorm within both political parties. There were the expected expressions of support and outrage, as well a substantial bipartisan reticence to make any comment at all.

Slipping below the radar were presidential candidate Clinton’s other remarks.

The Senator from New York also announced that she intended to appoint the Reverend Al Sharpton as Ambassador to Israel, citing his decades of experience in dealing with the Jewish community.

When contacted, Senator Clinton’s office also informed MHNN (Mental Health News Network) that other future Clinton appointments will include former intern Monica Lewinsky, who will be tapped as acting liaison for the dry cleaning and kneepad industries. Marc Rich will offered the top job at the IRS. He will also head up a task force investigating investor compliance division as well as another committee that will examine Wall Street investor ethics.

Other political postings will include Charlie Trie, Johnny Chung, John Huang and Eric Wynn, who is under consideration for the top post at the Securities and Exchange Commission. Senator Clinton’s spokesperson also noted that Bernard Nussbaum was being considered for Chief White House Counsel or Attorney General.

Other renowned figures being considered for top jobs include Al Gore, who would work closely with a Clinton administration as a top DNC fund raising official as well as a her administration’s unofficial liaison to the Buddhist community.

Pat Santy, former NASA psychiatrist and organic waste specialist is being considered for the Surgeon General position.

Santy has made clear that if selected, her first 100 days would include mental health screenings for all Members of Congress and Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals (California) Justices.

In a what is being hailed as a refreshing change from ‘business as usual,’ Clinton campaign officials are hoping that Santy’s program of ‘real education, real schools and real teachers,‘ will draw large numbers of undecided and even registered Republican voters will cross party lines and offer support.

Teacher union officials are outraged. Speaking off the record, they say they are being betrayed. For years, teacher unions and their millions of unqualified members have thrown their support behind Democrat candidates, based an an unwritten agreement that the Democrat party would never back calls for teacher competency and literacy. Santy has made clear that teacher competency affects the national health of the nation, and as such, she has promised to go to court if the Department of Education attempts to impede her efforts.

Santy has also said that electricity is ‘nothing to fear.’ She believes that ECT technology in the classroom is more effective and useful than teacher aides. In addition, Dr Sanity is a strong proponent of a concealed weapons permit as a most effective forms of preventative health care. Such permits she believes, have the potential to cut heath care costs dramatically. She cited the recent events at Virginia Tech as an example. In her usual caring, sensitive and compassionate manner, and taking into account various political sensitives, she remarked that

Had someone pulled a licensed piece and shot that motherfucker dead, or even in the balls, health care costs would have been reduced because their would have been far fewer victims and the nation would not have been subjected to the incessant drone of ‘Go Hokies!’

The appointment to the Office of the Surgeon General would accord Santy, a former Air Force Flight Surgeon, a US Navy appointment to the rank of Rear Admiral. Sources close to Santy say while she is considering the appointment, she is reluctant to accept the post. Those sources say that Santy believes the Air Force baby blue uniforms are more flattering.

For more on why Dr Sanity is being courted by candidates on both sides of the political landscape, read Carnival Of The Insanities, her weekly must read compendium of insight, analysis and horse sense, comprehensible to even the most out of touch and failed politicians that Americans call their representatives.