Premature Sex Destroys Little Girls and Little Boys

May 7, 2007

 

Sexual reality bites:

1. Adolescents in intact families are less likely to become sexually active compared to peers in non-intact families. full details

2. Girls who experienced a parental separation during childhood are more likely to engage in early sexual activity. full details

3. Among girls in intact families, those who report having a close relationship with their fathers are less likely to engage in sexual activity. full details

4. Adolescents whose mothers were teens when they first gave birth are more likely to initiate sexual activity at an early age. full details

5. Youths who pledge to protect their virginity until marriage are more likely to delay sexual activity. full details

6. Youths who receive more adult supervision are less likely to engage in sexual activity. full details

7. Youths who engage in sexual activity are at an increased risk for depression. full details

8. Among teenage boys, those from intact families with frequent religious attendance average the fewest sexual partners. full details

9. Teens in intact families are less likely to become pregnant compared to peers in other family structures. full details

10. Women who were sexually active in their teens are less likely to form and sustain stable marriages. full details

For a look at how this all translates into the real world, see Mamacita’s A Teacher Tells The Truth About Your Kids And Sex.

My last few years in the middle school were spent largely chasing kids out of the bathroom of the opposite sex. Blowjobs were all the rage. It was all they could talk about. They even drew pictures and diagrams, of kids ‘doing it,’ or ‘how to do it’ for the uninitiated.Unpopular girls became suddenly popular. Early-developing boys were chased down the halls and solicited. It was sick. A time or two someone was actually caught in the act, but our principal had a hard time believing such things could happen at that age, and we had a really difficult time convincing her that yes, it was happening two or three dozen times a day. Nothing was ever done, because ‘the teacher must have just misinterpreted the situation and assumed the worst.’
Yes, it happened like that over and over. The parents were our worst problem, because they simply refused to believe their innocent child could possibly do that, and they became furious at the implication.

And the middle school kids were giving, and getting, blowjobs all day.

When something like that becomes ‘cool,’, the ‘thing to do,’ because ‘everybody’s doing it,’ then it’s hard to explain to a kid that blowjobs are not the way to go at age thirteen. At thirteen, fourteen, hormones are overflowing and overwhelming, and there are no legitimate outlets. And then suddenly, there is one. And nobody gets pregnant, either. STD’s? VD? Not taught. Against community standards.

How progressive.

UPDATE: See also Parenting: Protection First, Love Second. If you aren’t protecting your kids, you aren’t loving them.

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46 Responses to “Premature Sex Destroys Little Girls and Little Boys”


  1. Vote

    Stomach turning.

  2. Truth Unites...and Divides Says:

    Bill Clinton’s legacy.


  3. [...] a less exalted note Siggy tells us the unpopular truth we don’t want to acknowledge about why premature sex wrecks our [...]

  4. TigerHawk Says:

    So let me ask a question that I like to drop at cocktail parties when this sort of thing crops up. Forgive the lack of links — it’s early — but I believe the assertions in the question are true:

    As the post indicates, it does seem that kids are engaging in more oral sex than they did back in the day. However, the age of first intercourse in the United States is moving up. There is therefore a substitution effect at some level: at the margin oral sex may be a means for putting off first intercourse. So, my question is this: If you could snap your fingers and cause our teenagers to substitute every act of premarital or at least adolescent intercourse with, say, fully reciprocal oral sex (to deal with the “fairness” issue), would you do so?

  5. Maureen Says:

    Every form of sex is sex, not a “substitute” for sex.

  6. Dan Says:

    All of your facts and figures, with the exception of #7, simply detail negative factors that contribute to increased sexual activity among young people, rather than, say, the negative consequences.

    Yet your headline flips the causal chain and screams that sexual activity is “destroying little girls and boys”.

    Surely you’re not trying to suggest that these statistics prove that teen sexual activity leads to parental divorce and separation?

    Read your link again, sir.

  7. Dan Says:

    > Every form of sex is sex, not a “substitute” for sex.

    That sounds like a “no”, but it sort of avoids the question. Let’s rephrase on TigerHawk’s behalf just to be sure:

    “If you could snap your fingers and cause our teenagers to substitute every act of premarital or at least adolescent vaginal intercourse with, say, fully reciprocal oral sex (to deal with the “fairness” issue), would you do so?”

  8. Ken Says:

    Every form of sex is sex, not a “substitute” for sex.

    I refer you to testimony in “Monicagate”, where none other than the sitting President said it “wasn’t real sex”…

  9. sd Says:

    Ya, there is oral sex in middle schools. Get over it.

  10. Ken Says:

    SD: Until Sharia is imposed.

    A Muslim man in an Islamic country can be sure of a virgin bride who WILL stay faithful. And that his kids won’t be giving and getting blowjobs in school. When’s the last time you or me could say the same?

  11. anniebird Says:

    Sorry sd, I’m not going to get over it. It’s destroying children, and I have a problem with it, and anybody who defends it has to do a little better than “get over it”.

    Ken, you make comments like this often and I find them puzzling. Is this your way of advocating for Sharia or is it a tactic for taunting liberals?

  12. anniebird Says:

    Dan:

    post title: premature sex destroys little boys and little girls

    #7: Youths who engage in sexual activity are at an increased risk for depression.

    #10 Women who are sexually active in their teens are less likely to form stable marriages.

    Perhaps you are just a very persnickity person and it bothers you that not every point referenced ties in directly with the title of the post. It also occurs to me that you might be someone who wants to argue that children are sexual beings who should be encouraged in developing their sexuality at an early age….if so, you should declare yourself, because we have much to discuss.

  13. Fil Says:

    #1: I think Ken makes a great point “A Muslim man in an Islamic country can be sure of a virgin bride who WILL stay faithful” – the trick, of course, is to get them before they’re old enough to reach puberty, as the benevolent dictator Mohammed showed (i.e., 9 year old Aiyesha/pre-pubescent sex slave, et al).

    #2: And/or when you can’t do that, for one reason or another, you slice of their ‘button’, scrape their labia bloody raw and sew them together = Female Genital Mutilation, as practiced in many predominantly Muslim countries and performed on millions of ‘young girls’ (see #1) throughout Africa, etc. While I *do* understand that FGM predates Islam in Africa and “some Christian societies” also practice it, I would bet you 72 virgins that one can’t justify this practice in the Bible but it’s being routinely justified by ‘learned’ Imams.

    #3: Islam sure keeps women virgin; at what price, Ken?

    Your welcome,
    Fil

  14. Amado Says:

    Very interesting!

  15. Brian Kelly Says:

    Regarding sex among children , there is no easy answer, but I think that parental or adult training will help children make good choices as they get older. Some believe abstinenece is the ideal sex education and promote it while others contend that kids will have sexual intercourse anyhow, so condoms should be available. I’m new to this forum so I’ll end with this thought. What is strongest sex organ in the body? The brain!


  16. [...] Premature Sex Destroys Little Girls and Little Boys Sigmund, Carl As the post indicates, it does seem that kids are engaging in more oral sex than they did back in the day. However, the age of first intercourse in the United States is moving up. [...]

  17. Ken Says:

    #3: Islam sure keeps women virgin; at what price, Ken?

    FGM + Honor Killings = Virgin Brides who Stay Faithful.

    Let me know when you find one in today’s America. I heard rumors that they once DID exist before The Sexual Revolution (TM).

  18. steve Says:

    Ken, Don,t the Islams kill there wives for not being faithful. And yes little girls like to be touched because it feels good. Just not a talked about issue untill now. But has been happening for years. And yes they have 9yr old brides and have babies early in life.

  19. sara Says:

    i think we can’t stop girls to do sex because is important in her lives and she prefers do it

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  21. stryph Says:

    Right, right…I think I got it now.
    So basically what’s being said here is that sex is such a horrible thing that it’s destroying humanity if “kids” (define “kids”, by the way, cause if they’re old enough to enjoy a blowjob they’re obviously at a certain point of maturity, no?).
    And thereby, if we can manage to completely suppress all sexual activity in said “kids” the world will then be a wonderful place where everyone gets along.
    I know that always seemed to work in my childhood, you make sexuality such a forbidden thing that when they’re “old enough” to do it they have no idea what’s going on and are afraid and/or so completely unlearned in the subject that they can barely figure it out.
    And, of course, the repression of sexual desire can’t have any side effects in the here and now either can it? Of course not, I mean I know that I’ve never gotten anxious, lacked focus, become unnecessarily frustrated or angry, or had any other behavioral issues when I’ve gone to long without it (I’ve been in Iraq for the last eight months; trust me, I know all about going to long without).
    So yeah, I guess we just have to choose between a 15-year-old getting/giving a blowjob and an entire society comprised of neurotics. Seems the choice is pretty clear to me…


  22. “destroy” seems a little too harsh in my book..but interesting read

  23. randall wyrd Says:

    I am unsure of what exactly is the point here. It is true that teens are having sex, and the flavors of sex are as embarrassing as the fact of it happening-to some. Lets get a little perspective here. For the majority of mankinds history-and presumably before that-people have been having sex when they can. For most of that period thirteen is the age of adulthood-see two thousand years of Jewish tradition. The age of consent in Victorian England was 12. In this country the age of consent laws have moved higher over the years as the artificial concept of teenager was promulgated by those unnamed individuals who presume to dictate what we are is defined by someone else. I do not argue that in the sex obsessed and ignorant mess that passes for civilization that we do not have people being taken advantage of. But where does the blame go? To those who teach that at some magical chronological age, wisdom suddenly appears?
    To those who say just don’t do it? To those who try to maintain ignorance? How aout asking the question: if lying to our children about sex and it’s attendant risks makes life more dangerous for them, why do it? Get a grip folks! I have a daughter I will protect and educate until she tells me to frip off! It is after all her (their) bodie(s). If the social pressure tells them to give BJs for status-so what! And perhaps the most important question: when did parents give up their duty to teach morals and personal lifestyles? The educational monolith is clearly unable to cope with their many conflicting tasks. How about (cautiously) suggesting that a few of these parent-actually be parents? Good luck, I hope this does not cause too many skulls to explode.

  24. Trevor Loughlin Says:

    Premature sex has risks involved and should be discouraged, but with disease control, contraception and abortion available these risks are minimized. However, in Africa and the Middle East this is not the case and the health consequences for young girls can be devastating.
    The real possibility for destruction of young lives in the West lies with the appalling misuse of sexual offenses legislation originally meant to protect young children from dangerous older male sexual predators, but expanded as a catch-all by religious moralists and anti-sexual feminist extremists.


  25. That is way to young. I believe that parents should start way early talking to their kids about sex. Go on the internet and pull the worse case pics of STDS. Fear is what kept me inline and that all a parent has as a weapon here. If they are going to have sex at least you drilled protection into their head.

  26. Cami Says:

    Sex doesn´t destroy children, a children is destroyed temporary by death.

    sex causes no damage, damage is caused by the wrong person.

    thefore sex is ok, as long as it is with the right person.

  27. Laura Says:

    Oookay… I simply don’t get it… look I’m 22 I’ve had premarital sex but didn’t untill I was 18. I’ve had a full sex education including all kind of contraceptive and STD prevention mesures. I promote sex education and have taught some courses.

    Most of my friends lost their virginity at around 16 ages ranging 13-21. none of them have STD’s nor are they depressive because they know how to protect themselves and suffer no social discrimination because of their acts. They have active sexual lives and are happy with them just as I am.

    What’s the problem with consensual sex between people more or less the same age?


  28. Great Blog Article and I agree with you…..very well written and i am adding to my favorites so I can read closer at another time. I am busy here with 2 little boys and I can’t concentrate as well, but very good article…thanks for writing it.

    This should be brought to more peoples attention, I think I will forward it to my friends in my email list, including a teacher

  29. anniebird Says:

    Laura, the damage wasn’t evident for me until I was married and in my mid-30s. I’ve never had an STI, an unplanned pregnancy before marriage or an abortion. I had only four partners before my husband, but I still came to deeply regret the cheap meaninglessness of my interactions with the men I chose to be with before marriage.

    Worse than my regret about what I’d done with whom was the realization that I’d bought the same load of crap you and your friends did. I’m not singling you out – it’s the same steaming pile of horseshit every girl and woman under the age of 60 has heard since the 60s. When I talked about sex, I used the same language you used in your post; it felt good to speak in a way both bold and blase about something that was so recently taboo. If I had any private doubt, I crushed it and reminded myself that enlightened people were pro-sex, pro-birth control and, most importantly, PRO-CHOICE.

    I won’t bore you with the details of my change of heart, but I’ll say that eventually, I got a glimpse of the wholeness and real beauty that accompanies sex when it occupies its proper (and exclusive) place in marriage. It hurt to see what I’d given up in exchange for “liberation” that turned out to be empty and far from elevating.

    Be sure that there IS a price to pay for the hollow sex that happens outside of marriage: young girls and young women just don’t know they’re paying it.

  30. mohan Says:

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  32. anam Says:

    hello!its nice topic.in islam sex before marriage is concider bad.its against islam to have sex before marriage therefore in islamic countries there are few cases of rape.

  33. mercurynv Says:

    I am unsure of what exactly is the point here. It is true that teens are having sex, and the flavors of sex are as embarrassing as the fact of it happening-to some. Lets get a little perspective here. For the majority of mankinds history-and presumably before that-people have been having sex when they can. For most of that period thirteen is the age of adulthood-see two thousand years of Jewish tradition. The age of consent in Victorian England was 12. In this country the age of consent laws have moved higher over the years as the artificial concept of teenager was promulgated by those unnamed individuals who presume to dictate what we are is defined by someone else. I do not argue that in the sex obsessed and ignorant mess that passes for civilization that we do not have people being taken advantage of. But where does the blame go? To those who teach that at some magical chronological age, wisdom suddenly appears?

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  35. Tyler Says:

    I think we tend to idealize the good old days when people in Western cultures were more religious as times when people where more chaste. But its important to keep in mind a lot of people got married back then at like 16 and there were a lot of falsified birth certificates to show someone was born 9 months after the wedding. My point is that waiting is easy when the timespan between puberty and having a socially sanctioned sexual partner is like 3-4 years. Now that people get married older its less common for people to wait for marriage. Would you like to see people getting married way too young just because they are horny? It happens but rarely does it end well. Sex is not an inherently bad thing. Hopefully parents won’t read this article thinking the one and only key to raising happy kids is to keep them from having sex at all costs because that may lead them to way over shelter their kids. I am not encouraging any youth to lose their virginity by any means but nothing is more annoying than the girl who feels the need to brag about her virginity. In the end just like the “slut” she is attaching her value to her sexuality in relation to men. And back to the slut word, there will always be a double standard women will be criticized for their sexual behaviors men will be given a pass, boys will be boys. Sex is a very complicated part of our human nature but it is a good thing and it doesn’t help anyone be safer or wiser in their choices to create fear and shame. Go ahead tell teenagers don’t have sex because telling teenagers not to do things usually works…
    jk it actually doesn’t

  36. eric Says:

    God please help us

  37. QueenLarissa Says:

    This is nothing new to me. In middle school, we all knew about this kind of stuff, and though I never did it, others did, and not just in sercet either


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  42. SC&A Says:

    I find your obsession with me fascinating.

    I delete your silly comments and yet not only do you continue to comment, you have to find a new nic/email to do just that. That is a lot of effort to go through fore someone who claims to find mouse clicks ‘annoying’.

    This is certainly not the behavior of a healthy person.

    Now, as to your latest remarks, I admit that gave me a good laugh.

    I suppose you know as much about that as you do the other things you claim ‘expertise’.

    Don’t misunderstand me- I harbor no ill will toward you. Just the opposite, in fact. I do understand where you are coming from and I have a great deal of sympathy for you.

    Get back into therapy- if not for yourself, do it for your family.

    While there may be some things that cannot be undone or unbroken there is no reason the future has to repeat the past.


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