Patchouli: Once And For All, Telling It Like It Is

MHNN (Tirana, Albania)- At the request of Bush administration officials, Dr Pat Santy, former NASA Flight Surgeon and organic waste in space mission specialist, weighed in the next generation of American foreign policy changes.

Meeting at an undisclosed KFC location in the Albanian capital of Tirana, Santy told administration officials that the time had come for the administration to publicly endorse Kosovo aims of independence.

Speaking between trips to the buffet, Santy said that

“It’s time the president put on his white hat and rode into town with his posse of those who support freedom. The time has come for a showdown with the Euro- socialists that have left nothing but a trail of failure and misery.”

When administration officials asked Santy if pushing for Kosovo independence might upset the Russians, she replied

Of course it will upset the Russians, but that’s no big deal. The solution to putting out that fire is clear. Send Condaleeza Rice and Paris Hilton on a 3 week tour of the Motherland and the Russians will crumble like blue cheese. They love Condaleeza Rice and her intimate knowledge of their nation and language, and they love the idea that there isn’t a woman in the entire Russian Federation that is as stupid as Paris Hilton. They can rightly see her as an ultimate ‘capitalist tool’ and thus be justified in feeling equal.

Stunned at the simplicity and common sense of her approach, administration officials remained silent until Santy broke the tension by asking, “Am I the only one eating the gizzards?”

When asked how the administration would reply to leftists who would bitterly object to freedom and independence for the Serbian province of Kosovo, Santy said the time had come for a different approach.

Ridicule the morons. Remind them of the failures and misery the left has brought upon billions of people. Confront reality. Say publicly that patchouli isn’t a ‘scent,’ but is in all reality, an odor. There needs to be a photo op of Teddy Kennedy dropping live lobsters in a pot. You get the point.

Hell, even the idiots in Sacramento have had enough with the lunatic left. If anyone else says another word about ‘cultural relativism,’ we ought to suggest that they submit to FGM themselves, you know, in a show of ‘solidarity.’

Administration officials were reluctant to confront Santy’s strident approach. The mood calmed down a bit after Santy asked a senior official, “Have they brought out any more fried okra?”

Santy somberly noted that although Albanians have had a very rough road to independence, that nation has never wavered from their steadfast support of freedom. Mr Bush’s trip to Albania has elicited nothing but support from what is now the poorest nation in Europe. Santy noted that

Despite their travails, the Albanians are staunch supporters of freedom and democracy. They spent decades under under the boot of one of the most oppressive ‘people’s paradise’ in all of Europe. That mostly Muslim nation knows very well the tyranny of the left. They won’t allow themselves to be sucked in by the rhetoric of the left. They can connect the cigar dots- Castro to Clinton. They know exactly what cigars mean and represent to lefties.

Santy’s sober observations moved administration officials. They vowed to consider and discuss Santy’s thoughts and ideas. They left the meeting in high spirits. After their departure, Santy remained at the buffet, signed autographs and was presented a ‘take home trunk’ of KFC buffet delights by a most appreciative manager.

After loading the KFC ‘take home trunk,’ Santy noted her appreciation.

KFC buffet inspires me to write a better Carnival Of The Insanities.

Pepsico, owner of KFC, now mentions that fact to prospective franchisees.

While there is no guarantee, implicit or implied, that a KFC franchise will make you or your patrons better bloggers, KFC is proud to note that our world famous chicken plays a part in the writing of the world famous Carnival Of The Insanities. Only you can decide if there is a connection between our chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy and great blogging.

Side dishes may play an important role in blogging.