The Wednesday Weekly Whacky Award Goes To

The SC&A Academy of Extremely Peculiar Pathologies, is pleased to announce this week’s winners of the Weekly Wednesday Whackjob Awards, commonly referred to as the ‘Whacky’s.’

First, some fine print: nominations will open each week until 10:00 PM, EST (After the broadcast of House, M.D.-sadly, now into summer reruns).

That’s it for the fine print.

The directors of the SC&A Institute are pleased to announce this week’s winners of the Whacky Awards are examples of nut jobs, whack jobs and people with way too much time on their hands.
This week’s show is being broadcast from the Mellaril Test Facility, a fine institution where world class scientists bet on who can induce Neuroleptic Malignant Syndrome the fastest. Whoever said science wasn’t fun?

A ‘Whacky‘ has been been awarded this week in each of the following categories:

The Thorazine Shuffle and Dance Award, presented each week to the politician who dances and shuffles without actually addressing reality or answering a question, is presented to Jimmy Carter and those of similar ilk (who embrace his kind of thinking sans the surreptitious Arab oil money) who refer to the American and EU refusal to accept the Hamas government was ‘criminal.’

Far from encouraging Hamas’ move into parliamentary politics, Carter said the U.S. and Israel, with European Union acquiescence, sought to subvert the outcome by shunning Hamas and helping Abbas to keep the reins of political and military power.

“That action was criminal,” he said in a news conference after his speech.

Yes, western nations should be supporting racist and corrupt regimes that refuse to renounce violence and who continue to escalate bigotry.

As we have noted many times, Adolph Hitler too, was democratically elected. Had free European nations boycotted or even eliminated the Nazi leadership, 50 million lives would have been spared. We are under no obligation to recognize or support any regime, even if democratically elected, that promises ‘rivers of blood.’

We have also noted that the Nazis attempted to hide their evil intentions. Hamas cannot be bothered- and for good reason. The Nazi ideology was not fully known or understood by the Germans until after Hitler was in power. Hamas has never made a secret of it’s ideologies and beliefs that have espoused hate, racism, bigotry and violence. The Palestinians that voted for Hamas knew exactly what and who they were voting for. They made very clear who and what they are, as do the Arab nations that support Hamas.

Not only does Israel have every right to reject Hamas, they are well within their rights to vigorously root out and eliminate those who threaten her very existence.

Of course, it isn’t just Carter that is unmasked in his duplicity. Cal Thomas notes of Hamas, et al,

…their objectives are identical: the annihilation of the democratic Jewish state and the elimination of all Jews, either by death or displacement, from the land. To argue otherwise and to continue believing the fiction that “infidel” diplomats from the State Department or European Union can magically transform people commanded to hate Jews and Israel based on a twisted mandate from their corrupt notion of God, is to be in extreme denial.

The proof is in the pudding, notwithstanding the bigoted drivel posited by those who claim to stand for justice (see this and this for examples) and at the same time need to engage in deceit. “Oh, Israel is at fault. Hamas recognizes Israel,” or “There is no institutionalized hate in the Palestinian territories or the Arab world.”

We asked one such mindless bigot, masquerading as ‘seeker of justice’ a few simple questions. We wanted to know how she could support Hamas given their blatant antisemitism, adoption of the ‘Protocols’ and racist hate taught in their schools and broadcast from media and pulpits (her response was that we were the bigots!). We also noted

In the final analysis, peace in the region is around the corner.

* Cessation of hostilities and terror
* Secure borders.
* Diplomatic recognition of Israel.

Those are the minimum requirements as noted by Israel, the UN, the US, and the EU.

Which of those requirements are too onerous for the Palestinians?

Sadly, that question proved to be too much of an affront and outrage for the ape in the tuxedo. In the end, asking a bigot to opine Middle East peace is like asking a whore to opine on family values.

This week’s Thomas Szasz Psychotherapy Award, presented each week to the biggest idiot therapists we can find, goes to the American media that has whipped us into a near frenzy when it comes to young children and online safety. As it turns out, the numbers are clear. While online safety for young people needs to always be a priority, the fact is that it’s people the kids know and not strangers that turn out to be the real problem. See this and this.

The Valium Award, presented to the dullard of the week goes to writer Nicholas Lezard who when suffering writer’s block, appropriated the Vatican’s 10 Commandments for Drivers. The following are a few selected Lezard Commandments.

4. Thy children shall not ask “are we there yet?” two minutes after thou hast driven off from home, and every three minutes thereafter, all the way to Devon. For lo, it is sorely vexing.

6. Thy children will shut up back there for thou art trying to drive.

9. Thou shalt not write “I wish my girlfriend was as dirty as this” in the dust of the back of a van, for (a) it is not funny any more, and (b) thy children shall ask what that meanest, and thou shalt have no convincing explanation.

The Trojan Award is presented each week to the person or persons we wish had never been born. This week’s award goes to an PETA Junior Achievement member, Oregon chapter:

A Corvallis teenager has been arrested after a surveillance camera captured him preparing to sexually abuse a horse inside a barn.

The owners of the barn installed the camera after reporting an assault on the horse last summer. When they checked the video, they saw a young man sexually assaulting the horse.

An unidentified PETA spokesperson issued a cautionary warning.

“By what right can we interfere with love?”

You just can’t make this stuff up.

The men heard in the film are remarkably honest about their motivations. One of them argues “mammal to mammal” love should not be seen as wrong.

Another firmly rejects the tag “bad person” his employer lays upon him before he is sacked. They all say the horses were willing participants.

The NutriSystem “I’m Not So disgusting to My Spouse Anymore” Award, goes to the biggest loser of the week. This week the prize is awarded to Mokhtar Mohamad Noor. He took his wife to a Shaman healer and then was outraged at the quality of ‘medical treatment.’

…a teacher who wanted his sick wife to be cured, said the healer gave his wife a drink and spoke an incantation before she and some male followers in their 20s and 30s started dancing in the nude, the Star newspaper reported.”She kept muttering unintelligible incantations which sounded like the singing of Koranic verses,” Mokhtar said, adding that the woman sat under a yellow umbrella and the dance continued before he left with his wife, tired of the group’s antics.

The bomoh, or shaman, whom some superstitious Malaysians believe can call on spirits to assist in curative rituals, is based in the city of Kota Baru, Kelantan state.

“I want the state religious affairs department to take stern action against the bomoh whose healing practice is against Islamic teachings,” the Star quoted a neighbour, Fuzi Nor, as saying.

Malaysia is a relatively modern and relaxed Muslim country where about 40 percent of the population is non-Muslim, but authorities in Kelantan, which is ruled by an opposition Islamist party, frown on departures from Koranic injunctions.

Apparently, the use of Koranic incantaions by nude, dancing Shamans is problematic. Had the healer just stick to Shamanology, everything would have been fine.

Don’t you just hate it when specialists dabble in areas of expertise outside their own?

The Haldol Honor, awarded each week to the person or persons most out of touch with reality, goes to Shiv Charan Yadav.

The 73-year-old Indian farmer has been taking – and failing – his high school exams every year since 1969 and has just flunked again for the 38th time.

He has vowed not to get married until he passes the exams, which are normally given to schoolchildren at the age of 15.

In his latest attempt he failed in every subject apart from Sanskrit, scoring just 103 out of a possible 600 points.

He said he found mathematics particularly hard, blaming the subject for draggnig down his score.

“Once I pass I want to get married to a girl who’s under 30,” said Yadav.

He is now revising for his 39th attempt next year.

The Methamphetamine Medal, awarded each week to the most hyper, histrionic, hysterical, spaced out documented behavior is shared by two most deserving idiots. Troy Newman, president of the Wichita-based anti-abortion group Operation Rescue and Rep. Vaughn Flora, Topeka Democrat:

An anti-abortion protester is suing a legislator who was fined for assaulting the cockroach-costumed protester at last year’s Kansas State Fair.Troy Newman, president of the Wichita-based anti-abortion group Operation Rescue, alleges that Rep. Vaughn Flora, Topeka Democrat, violated his free speech rights. The lawsuit, which calls Flora’s conduct “socially outrageous, politically oppressive and beyond the bounds of decency which a civilized society should tolerate,”

Our great nation is blessed with a bounty of idiots.

The Viagra Statuette, (male or female), is awarded to two gay and lesbian gangs.

The victim, a 15-year-old boy, was waiting at the bus shelter area on the night of May 19 after an earlier fight with members of a rival gang, officials said. He told investigators that he was attacked by six members of the rival gang, including a woman who allegedly stabbed him four times and another person who hit him in the head with a stiletto heel.

While it obvious the kind of damage stiletto can inflict, activists are starting a campaign to raise awareness the danger flats, pumps, and sandals can inflict. A study examining the potential hazards of flip flops was inconclusive.

The ECT Battery Award, presented to the most shocking news story of the week, goes to an idiot 16 year old.

A 16-year-old Berlin student was so worried he would have to repeat a year at school because of poor marks he convinced two friends to storm his class and steal the report cards with his bad grades.“The student probably honestly believed that he could avoid repeating the school year if he made the report cards disappear,” said a spokesman for local police Monday.

The youth sat quietly at the back of the classroom as the two masked robbers, aged 14 and 15, burst in and threatened his teacher with a steel bar if she did not hand over the reports.

After grabbing them, the two tried to flee but dropped the reports as other students leapt to defend the teacher. The two were arrested close to the school, and told police their friend had devised the raid

The good news is while the student received poor grades in his academic subjects, he received high grades in Multicultural Studies, Wiccan Studies, Shamanology and a literature class referred to as ‘The Misunderstood Poetry of Pol Pot, Che, Stalin, Arafat and Hitler.’

Finally, The HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy) Prize is awarded to the administrators and producers of the Miss Spain Pageant.

The Miss Spain beauty contest has changed its rules to allow transsexuals and mothers to compete for the title for the first time in order to avoid any discrimination among candidates, organizers said Friday.

“Transsexuals and mothers will be able to compete in the next edition,” an organizer of the Miss and Mister Spain contest told AFP.

They decided to change the rules as well to allow transsexuals to compete in both the Miss and Mister Spain contest in the wake of a new law which came into effect in March that allows transsexuals to change their name and official gender without the need for a surgical operation.

Spanish pageant officials are working out the rules that will govern the ‘bulge’ competition.The Miss Spain pageant orchestra is reworking their opening musical number to to include a selection from the baritone ensemble.

Now while we’re on the topic of crazy, be sure to visit the latest Dr Sanity Carnival Of The Insanities for more bizarre, arcane, insane and incredible examples of what can be found in the whackosphere, blogosphere, MSM and NASA.

“There is a thin line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.”- Oscar Levant