Hillary, MoveOn and PMS

MHNN (Ann Arbor, MI)- The MoveOn.org brouhaha concerning the ad referring to General David Petraeus as traitor shows no sign of letting up. According to MoveOn, the firestorm that has surrounded the ad, the congressional testimony of General Petraeus and the escalating sniping between the presidential candidates has proved to be a bonanza for MoveOn.org.

“According to a MoveOn organizer in Washington, D.C., the organization has raised more than twice that amount since the full-page ad appeared in the NYT. It was a great fund raising opportunity for us.” The source added that the group was looking to perhaps turn the ad into a poster that they could further fund raise off of.”

The ad prompted a response by Rudy Guiliani which in turn, prompted a response from Hillary Clinton, the subject of Guiliani’s ire. While Ms Clinton did not condemn the MoveOn.org, referring to Petraeous as a liar, she did what politicians do best- obfuscate reality.

“I made clear my great respect for Gen. Petraeus and his service to our country,” Clinton said, referring to her remarks at the Senate Armed Services hearing last week.

When asked a second time if she thought the ad went too far, Clinton again said that she has repeatedly expressed her admiration for Petraeus and for the troops.

“I think that speaks for itself,” Clinton said.

Senator Clinton, clearly aggravated and under great stress to formulate a plausible strategy that condemns Petraeus as a liar and at the same time refers to the general as a patriot and someone she admires, called Dr Pat M Santy, author of Carnival Of The Insanities, for some much needed advice and counseling. What follows is a transcript of that therapy session. Certain portions of the transcript were redacted so as to maintain confidentiality.

PMS- Nice to see you.

HRC- Did you ever meet Bill? Have you ever dated Bill?

PMS- No.

HRC- Good. I’d hate to have to get the private dicks after a therapist. That Kathleen Wiley bitch just won’t go away.

PMS- Why did you come here today?

HRC- I feel persecuted.

PMS- Why?

HRC- Because everything I do is under scrutiny.

PMS- And this surprises you? Why? After all, you are a presidential candidate!

HRC- Look, I’m just doing what Bill did. For example, I hired the same fund raisers as he did, and I’m the one that has to give the money back. It isn’t fair!

PMS- Well, the money came from questionable sources, to say the least!

HRC- I know that! But so what! Bill raised millions and whenever the issue of illegal contributions came up, we just heaped the dirt on that idiot, Al Gore. He always took the fall. All Bill and I ever had to do was tell him that no matter what anyone else said, we thought he was smart. What an idiot. Have you seen that moronic movie of his?

I miss Al.

PMS- Don’t you want to be elected on your own merit? Why bring Bill into it?

HRC- Are you sure you didn’t date Bill? Have you ever had a paternity test done on your daughter?

PMS- Well?

HRC- Please! You are supposed to be smart. Do you really believe that I would refuse to use whatever resources I could, to get elected? Get real. I’m the one that gathered 941 FBI files and kept them in my office, until I got busted. I’m the one who flat lied about my Rose Law firm billing records. I flat out lied when I said we took no White House property when we left. I flat out lied when I said my brother didn’t sell presidential pardons. There is a whole list of things I have lied about, in the public record, all of which I claimed were coincidence or came about as the result of a conspiracy against Bill and I. Every freakin’ lefty bought into the bullshit. Why on earth would you or anyone else think I would take the moral high ground?

PMS- Don’t you want to distinguish yourself from Bill?

HRC- Why would I want to do that? ‘If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it,’ as they say. I’ve hired the same staff that worked for Bill, the same private investigators that intimidated so many of our enemies and the same fund raisers.

Still, I’m under scrutiny. It’s just not fair.

PMS- Now, let’s be honest. Did you really believe you would not be questioned?

HRC- Listen here, you over credentialed bitch, I am Hillary Rodham Clinton. Who the hell are you to question me? Who the hell do you think you are?

PMS- You came to me.

HRC- Yes- I needed you to validate me and my behavior, not criticize or question me. Do you know who I am?

PMS- I know exactly who and what you are.

HRC- Don’t take that tone with me, you Bill chasing whore. Do you know what I can and will do to you if I so please?

PMS- Smile for the camera. I tape all my sessions.

HRC- You wouldn’t dare!

PMS- Threaten me again and see what happens.

HRC- Bill set this up, didn’t he? Does he wear that French maid outfit with you, too?

PMS- Look, you really have some issues you need to deal with. Maybe we ought to pick this up again next week.

HRC- I suppose. Sometimes I overreact. I’m really a very nice person. Why do you suppose Chelsea wanted to be so far from home, away from me and Bill?

PMS- Relax. Read Carnival Of The Insanities. We’ll pick up on this next week. Maybe we ought to have Bill here, too.

HRC- Bitch. OK, I’ll be back.