Santy Does Santa, Part One

December 2, 2007

MHNN (Ann Arbor, MI)- Last week, MHNN revealed that Dr Pat M Santy, (PMS) internationally known psychiatrist and author of the weekly Carnival Of The Insanities, is now treating Santa Claus.

“The portly old man has been suffering bouts of debilitating depression after the politically correct brown shirts noted he was a bad example to children because he was white, overweight and insufficiently sensitive enough to gay members of the community by being married to Mrs Claus…”

Dr Sanity regards her new patient with a certain awareness.

Look, I know I rarely got what I wanted on Christmas, but hey, the guy is busy, busy, busy. Does Santa have issues? Of course he does. He has a limited wardrobe and he plays center on the North Pole basketball team with the same people he works with.  He mucks out reindeer stalls and if he delivers a PS3 instead of a wii system, he’s subject to all kinds of abuse. Last year, one kid left tainted cookies because Santa didn’t deliver the taser, Tickle Me Elmo and a life size, life-like rubberized cast of Anna Nicole’s bust the previous holiday.

Dr Santy relayed some of Santa’s concerns.

Santa: You know, it’s getting to the point where I want to walk from all this. It really is getting that bad?

Dr Sanity: You can’t be serious! Who would take your place? Who could take your place? 

Santa: Well, how about the UPS guy? Why not give the guy who has to wear brown a break? OK, I’m kidding. But why not have a Santa Idol? Why not have a worldwide search for my replacement? Think about it. Simon Cowell, Paula Abdul and Randy Jackson. maybe we can get that Siggy guy to beat up on the Santa poseurs. I’ll bet you could help with that.

Dr Sanity: You know, running away won’t solve your problems.

Santa: Running? Who’s running? I’m trying to deal with this. My last therapist wanted me to engage in multicultural team building with a feminist twist. Then he wanted me to embrace the notions of Chakras, numerology and crystals. When I said I thought he was nuts he admitted to harboring the unresolved issues of his inner child. He said I had scarred him for life by not delivering the pony he wanted.

Dr Sanity: Is that for real?

Santa: Of course it is! He really thought I was going to deliver a pony through a chimney in Pittsburgh. He wanted to sue me for emotional distress, until I told him I’d let the world know about the rubber sheets on his bed and his penchant for overly large womens’ underwear.

Dr Sanity: I won’t ask how you know about that…

Santa: If can remember who wants dolls, games and red fire trucks or little red wagons, I can sure as hell remember who dresses up like Mrs Doubtfire, wears his mothers panties on his head and prances in front of a full length mirror squeezing rubber boobs.

Dr Sanity:  OK, let’s move in another direction. Is it the PC brown shirts that have got you in a funk?

Santa: Yes.

Dr Sanity: Why do you suppose that is?

Santa: I think it started with the Menorah. A few years ago, a nice Jewish kid wrote and asked me for a Menorah. As it turns out, Hannukah was celebrated at the same time as Christmas. His parents were Reformed Jews who weren’t all to keen on anything Jewish, spiritual or that didn’t recognize the marvelous martyrdom of the Palestinians. He figured he could count on me because his chance of getting a Menorah from his parents was zip. He was right, but I couldn’t get involved.

Dr Sanity: How sad. That must have put you in a tough position.

Santa: You have no idea. That was the same year Saddam asked for a nuclear device and  chemical or biological weapons. He didn’t care which, he said. He wanted me to surprise him.

Dr Sanity:  It really is tough to be Santa Claus. I had no idea.

Santa: Oh, I could tell you stories. One pope pleaded- begged really- for a hat- any hat that wasn’t red. I had to say no because he forgot to ask for shoes to match. Whoever said accessories don’t matter are wrong.

Dr Sanity: Our time is up.

Santa: OK, no problem. Remind me next week to tell you about children in France, the reindeer and Yasser Arafat.

Dr Sanity: Maybe I need to read to read Carnival of the Insanities again, just to get me ready for next session.

Santa: By the way, can I pay you in reindeer meat?

What?

Not Being Able To Let Go

December 2, 2007

Last night Dymphna of Gates Of Vienna posted Blindsided Three Times, a post in which she invokes no small outrage, directed at some of the Sanity Squad.

For a factual and actual representation of events, see Dr Sanity’s My Response To Blackmail Threats.  The post is long- it does include the unabridged correspondence sent to her.

In addition, Dr Sanity posted Updates/Corrections On Last Post, in which she posted requests for clarifications and corrections.

In a published correspondence with Dr Sanity, we noted that

It is ironic that posting corrections seems to be the topic du jour.

In three different exchanges, I noted my heartfelt mea culpa after I referred to Vlaams Belang in the third person singular. Why my errors are continually referenced remains a mystery, especially after I admitted to them and corrected them.

Prior to the podcast I had been doing some research on Belien and Dewinter and absentmindedly referred to the political party in that way.

Further, let’s be clear. In the private conversation in question, you gently asked me if Vlaams Belang was also a person (knowing I was in err!). I said [in that private conversation immediately following the podcast- SC&A] that I realized I had misspoke. How your reference was twisted is curious, given that only one side of the conversation was recorded.

I would only hope that the requests for accuracy be applied to myself and my remarks as well.

Lastly, while I have never claimed to be an expert on the maze that is Belgian politics, I do have sightly more than 6 months experience in the European theatre.

In reading Dymphna’s remarks, it is clear (and disappointing) to note that her deliberate misrepresentations of what transpired and further mis characterizations continue.

We have always been in accord with the ideologies of the Gates of Vienna blog. We have always been boosters of theirs and have always spoken of them with the highest regard.

No one on the Sanity Squad set out to deliberately hurt Dymphna.

Being able to ‘let go’ puts out fires, both real and imagined and allows life to go on. Sometimes, being able to let go can also heal. We have every right to be angry and hurt at those who have deliberately hurt us. There does come a time when anger, however, causes more pain and hurt than the original hurt itself.

The cost of not being able to let go is an always heavier emotional burden to carry.

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