Recently, we discussed heroes.
A real hero, Andrew Olmstead was killed yesterday in Iraq. He was the ideal soldier of a free nation- he hated war and he hated tyranny.
He entrusted a friend to post a final message posthumously, were he to be killed.
“I am leaving this message for you because it appears I must leave sooner than I intended. I would have preferred to say this in person, but since I cannot, let me say it here.”
G’Kar, Babylon 5
“Only the dead have seen the end of war.”
Plato*
This is an entry I would have preferred not to have published, but there are limits to what we can control in life, and apparently I have passed one of those limits. And so, like G’Kar, I must say here what I would much prefer to say in person. I want to thank hilzoy for putting it up for me. It’s not easy asking anyone to do something for you in the event of your death, and it is a testament to her quality that she didn’t hesitate to accept the charge. As with many bloggers, I have a disgustingly large ego, and so I just couldn’t bear the thought of not being able to have the last word if the need arose. Perhaps I take that further than most, I don’t know. I hope so. It’s frightening to think there are many people as neurotic as I am in the world. In any case, since I won’t get another chance to say what I think, I wanted to take advantage of this opportunity. Such as it is.
“When some people die, it’s time to be sad. But when other people die, like really evil people, or the Irish, it’s time to celebrate.”
Jimmy Bender, “Greg the Bunny”
“And maybe now it’s your turn
To die kicking some ass.”
Freedom Isn’t Free, Team America
What I don’t want this to be is a chance for me, or anyone else, to be maudlin. I’m dead. That sucks, at least for me and my family and friends. But all the tears in the world aren’t going to bring me back, so I would prefer that people remember the good things about me rather than mourning my loss. (If it turns out a specific number of tears will, in fact, bring me back to life, then by all means, break out the onions.) I had a pretty good life, as I noted above. Sure, all things being equal I would have preferred to have more time, but I have no business complaining with all the good fortune I’ve enjoyed in my life. So if you’re up for that, put on a little 80s music (preferably vintage 1980-1984), grab a Coke and have a drink with me. If you have it, throw ‘Freedom Isn’t Free’ from the Team America soundtrack in; if you can’t laugh at that song, I think you need to lighten up a little. I’m dead, but if you’re reading this, you’re not, so take a moment to enjoy that happy fact.
“Our thoughts form the universe. They always matter.”
Citizen G’Kar, Babylon 5
Believe it or not, one of the things I will miss most is not being able to blog any longer. The ability to put my thoughts on (virtual) paper and put them where people can read and respond to them has been marvelous, even if most people who have read my writings haven’t agreed with them. If there is any hope for the long term success of democracy, it will be if people agree to listen to and try to understand their political opponents rather than simply seeking to crush them. While the blogosphere has its share of partisans, there are some awfully smart people making excellent arguments out there as well, and I know I have learned quite a bit since I began blogging. I flatter myself I may have made a good argument or two as well; if I didn’t, please don’t tell me. It has been a great five-plus years. I got to meet a lot of people who are way smarter than me, including such luminaries as Virginia Postrel and her husband Stephen (speaking strictly from a ‘improving the species’ perspective, it’s tragic those two don’t have kids, because they’re both scary smart.), the estimable hilzoy and Sebastian of Obsidian Wings, Jeff Goldstein and Stephen Green, the men who consistently frustrated me with their mix of wit and wisdom I could never match, and I’ve no doubt left out a number of people to whom I apologize. Bottom line: if I got the chance to meet you through blogging, I enjoyed it. I’m only sorry I couldn’t meet more of you. In particular I’d like to thank Jim Henley, who while we’ve never met has been a true comrade, whose words have taught me and whose support has been of great personal value to me. I would very much have enjoyed meeting Jim.
Blogging put me in touch with an inordinate number of smart people, an exhilarating if humbling experience. When I was young, I was smart, but the older I got, the more I realized just how dumb I was in comparison to truly smart people. But, to my credit, I think, I was at least smart enough to pay attention to the people with real brains and even occasionally learn something from them. It has been joy and a pleasure having the opportunity to do this.
“It’s not fair.”
“No. It’s not. Death never is.”
Captain John Sheridan and Dr. Stephen Franklin, Babylon 5
“They didn’t even dig him a decent grave.”
“Well, it’s not how you’re buried. It’s how you’re remembered.”
Cimarron and Wil Andersen, The Cowboys
I suppose I should speak to the circumstances of my death. It would be nice to believe that I died leading men in battle, preferably saving their lives at the cost of my own. More likely I was caught by a marksman or an IED. But if there is an afterlife, I’m telling anyone who asks that I went down surrounded by hundreds of insurgents defending a village composed solely of innocent women and children. It’ll be our little secret, ok?
I do ask (not that I’m in a position to enforce this) that no one try to use my death to further their political purposes. I went to Iraq and did what I did for my reasons, not yours. My life isn’t a chit to be used to bludgeon people to silence on either side. If you think the U.S. should stay in Iraq, don’t drag me into it by claiming that somehow my death demands us staying in Iraq. If you think the U.S. ought to get out tomorrow, don’t cite my name as an example of someone’s life who was wasted by our mission in Iraq. I have my own opinions about what we should do about Iraq, but since I’m not around to expound on them I’d prefer others not try and use me as some kind of moral capital to support a position I probably didn’t support. Further, this is tough enough on my family without their having to see my picture being used in some rally or my name being cited for some political purpose. You can fight political battles without hurting my family, and I’d prefer that you did so.
On a similar note, while you’re free to think whatever you like about my life and death, if you think I wasted my life, I’ll tell you you’re wrong. We’re all going to die of something. I died doing a job I loved. When your time comes, I hope you are as fortunate as I was.
“What an idiot! What a loser!”
Chaz Reingold, Wedding Crashers
“Oh and I don’t want to die for you, but if dying’s asked of me;
I’ll bear that cross with honor, ’cause freedom don’t come free.”
American Soldier, Toby Keith
Those who know me through my writings on the Internet over the past five-plus years probably have wondered at times about my chosen profession. While I am not a Libertarian, I certainly hold strongly individualistic beliefs. Yet I have spent my life in a profession that is not generally known for rugged individualism. Worse, I volunteered to return to active duty knowing that the choice would almost certainly lead me to Iraq. The simple explanation might be that I was simply stupid, and certainly I make no bones about having done some dumb things in my life, but I don’t think this can be chalked up to stupidity. Maybe I was inconsistent in my beliefs; there are few people who adhere religiously to the doctrines of their chosen philosophy, whatever that may be. But I don’t think that was the case in this instance either.
As passionate as I am about personal freedom, I don’t buy the claims of anarchists that humanity would be just fine without any government at all. There are too many people in the world who believe that they know best how people should live their lives, and many of them are more than willing to use force to impose those beliefs on others. A world without government simply wouldn’t last very long; as soon as it was established, strongmen would immediately spring up to establish their fiefdoms. So there is a need for government to protect the people’s rights. And one of the fundamental tools to do that is an army that can prevent outside agencies from imposing their rules on a society. A lot of people will protest that argument by noting that the people we are fighting in Iraq are unlikely to threaten the rights of the average American. That’s certainly true; while our enemies would certainly like to wreak great levels of havoc on our society, the fact is they’re not likely to succeed. But that doesn’t mean there isn’t still a need for an army (setting aside debates regarding whether ours is the right size at the moment). Americans are fortunate that we don’t have to worry too much about people coming to try and overthrow us, but part of the reason we don’t have to worry about that is because we have an army that is stopping anyone who would try.
Soldiers cannot have the option of opting out of missions because they don’t agree with them: that violates the social contract. The duly-elected American government decided to go to war in Iraq. (Even if you maintain President Bush was not properly elected, Congress voted for war as well.) As a soldier, I have a duty to obey the orders of the President of the United States as long as they are Constitutional. I can no more opt out of missions I disagree with than I can ignore laws I think are improper. I do not consider it a violation of my individual rights to have gone to Iraq on orders because I raised my right hand and volunteered to join the army. Whether or not this mission was a good one, my participation in it was an affirmation of something I consider quite necessary to society. So if nothing else, I gave my life for a pretty important principle; I can (if you’ll pardon the pun) live with that.
“It’s all so brief, isn’t it? A typical human lifespan is almost a hundred years. But it’s barely a second compared to what’s out there. It wouldn’t be so bad if life didn’t take so long to figure out. Seems you just start to get it right, and then…it’s over.”
Dr. Stephen Franklin, Babylon 5
I wish I could say I’d at least started to get it right. Although, in my defense, I think I batted a solid .250 or so. Not a superstar, but at least able to play in the big leagues. I’m afraid I can’t really offer any deep secrets or wisdom. I lived my life better than some, worse than others, and I like to think that the world was a little better off for my having been here. Not very much, but then, few of us are destined to make more than a tiny dent in history’s Green Monster. I would be lying if I didn’t admit I would have liked to have done more, but it’s a bit too late for that now, eh? The bottom line, for me, is that I think I can look back at my life and at least see a few areas where I may have made a tiny difference, and massive ego aside, that’s probably not too bad.
“The flame also reminds us that life is precious. As each flame is unique; when it goes out, it’s gone forever. There will never be another quite like it.”
Ambassador Delenn, Babylon 5
I write this in part, admittedly, because I would like to think that there’s at least a little something out there to remember me by. Granted, this site will eventually vanish, being ephemeral in a very real sense of the word, but at least for a time it can serve as a tiny record of my contributions to the world. But on a larger scale, for those who knew me well enough to be saddened by my death, especially for those who haven’t known anyone else lost to this war, perhaps my death can serve as a small reminder of the costs of war. Regardless of the merits of this war, or of any war, I think that many of us in America have forgotten that war means death and suffering in wholesale lots. A decision that for most of us in America was academic, whether or not to go to war in Iraq, had very real consequences for hundreds of thousands of people. Yet I was as guilty as anyone of minimizing those very real consequences in lieu of a cold discussion of theoretical merits of war and peace. Now I’m facing some very real consequences of that decision; who says life doesn’t have a sense of humor?
But for those who knew me and feel this pain, I think it’s a good thing to realize that this pain has been felt by thousands and thousands (probably millions, actually) of other people all over the world. That is part of the cost of war, any war, no matter how justified. If everyone who feels this pain keeps that in mind the next time we have to decide whether or not war is a good idea, perhaps it will help us to make a more informed decision. Because it is pretty clear that the average American would not have supported the Iraq War had they known the costs going in. I am far too cynical to believe that any future debate over war will be any less vitriolic or emotional, but perhaps a few more people will realize just what those costs can be the next time.
This may be a contradiction of my above call to keep politics out of my death, but I hope not. Sometimes going to war is the right idea. I think we’ve drawn that line too far in the direction of war rather than peace, but I’m a soldier and I know that sometimes you have to fight if you’re to hold onto what you hold dear. But in making that decision, I believe we understate the costs of war; when we make the decision to fight, we make the decision to kill, and that means lives and families destroyed. Mine now falls into that category; the next time the question of war or peace comes up, if you knew me at least you can understand a bit more just what it is you’re deciding to do, and whether or not those costs are worth it.
“This is true love. You think this happens every day?”
Westley, The Princess Bride
“Good night, my love, the brightest star in my sky.”
John Sheridan, Babylon 5
This is the hardest part. While I certainly have no desire to die, at this point I no longer have any worries. That is not true of the woman who made my life something to enjoy rather than something merely to survive. She put up with all of my faults, and they are myriad, she endured separations again and again…I cannot imagine being more fortunate in love than I have been with Amanda. Now she has to go on without me, and while a cynic might observe she’s better off, I know that this is a terrible burden I have placed on her, and I would give almost anything if she would not have to bear it. It seems that is not an option. I cannot imagine anything more painful than that, and if there is an afterlife, this is a pain I’ll bear forever.
I wasn’t the greatest husband. I could have done so much more, a realization that, as it so often does, comes too late to matter. But I cherished every day I was married to Amanda. When everything else in my life seemed dark, she was always there to light the darkness. It is difficult to imagine my life being worth living without her having been in it. I hope and pray that she goes on without me and enjoys her life as much as she deserves. I can think of no one more deserving of happiness than her.
“I will see you again, in the place where no shadows fall.”
Ambassador Delenn, Babylon 5
I don’t know if there is an afterlife; I tend to doubt it, to be perfectly honest. But if there is any way possible, Amanda, then I will live up to Delenn’s words, somehow, some way. I love you.
Freakin’ Lawyers
January 4, 2008
From the ‘you just can’t make this stuff up’ department:
Son Seeks Estate Of Mother He Killed:
Joshua Hoge doesn’t need much spending money these days. Behind the locked doors of Western State Hospital, his basic needs — food, clothes and a constant stream of antipsychotic medications to keep his delusions at bay — are paid for by the state.
But Hoge has the chance to one day become a wealthy man.
From inside Western State, where he’s spent most of his time since stabbing his mother and brother to death with a butcher knife in 1999, Hoge is fighting to inherit part of his mother’s estate.
Should he succeed, it could be a windfall for the 37-year-old schizophrenic, who was found not guilty of the slayings by reason of insanity.
After Hoge killed his mother, Pamela Kissinger, her family won $800,000 in a civil suit against King County when it was determined that a public-health clinic had failed to give Hoge his medication and was partially responsible for the slayings.
Hoge’s claim to that money is now poised to set legal precedent for interpretation of Washington’s sometimes-vague Slayer Statute: the law that prohibits most killers from profiting off their victims. While some states have decided whether people found not guilty by reason of insanity can inherit the estates of their victims, Washington has not.
The case was set to be decided last month by the state Court of Appeals. But the appellate court sent it back to King County Superior Court, which originally decided Hoge could not inherit money from Kissinger. The appellate court said the King County court made a mistake in its original determination and must reconsider the case. No date has been set.
The ruling puzzled attorneys on both sides.
“The Legislature has made it very clear that they don’t want people who kill people to profit from it,” said Mark Leemon, who represents Hoge’s uncle, the executor of his sister’s estate.
Kissinger’s family wants all the money to go to her third son in Oregon, who is also mentally ill and will need lifelong care, Leemon said.
But many of the details surrounding the case rest on complex legal definitions of what it means to be a killer, and what type of killer Hoge is.
Statute’s key points
The Slayer Statute is designed to prevent those guilty of two key things — a “willful” and “unlawful” killing — from profiting from their crimes. So, for example, a person who accidentally hit a family member with a car wouldn’t necessarily be prevented from collecting life insurance because, although the killing could have been unlawful, the killer didn’t necessarily intend to do it.
Hoge’s attorney, Jean O’Loughlin, argued that the June 23, 1999, slayings of Pamela and Zach Kissinger, Hoge’s 49-year-old mother and 19-year-old brother, weren’t legally unlawful because Hoge was found not guilty. Therefore, the Slayer Statute should not even apply, she said.
John Strait, a Seattle University associate professor of law, agrees.
“For all intents and purposes, there is no crime. We don’t punish people for being really sick. We don’t impose criminal culpability on people who are mentally ill,” he said. “It’s nutty logic.”
But the appeals court said that while Hoge might not be criminally responsible under the law because he was insane, the killing was still unlawful.
Whether the killing was “willful” — the second point required under the statute — is murkier.
The appeals court sent the case back to King County because the judges said the wrong standard was used when determining that Hoge’s act was willful.
O’Loughlin could also ask for consideration by the state Supreme Court — a tactical move she is not sure she’ll take.
Wherever it lands, the case will rest heavily on Hoge’s tortured mental history.
Long, troubled history
Long before the slayings, Hoge’s behavior and beliefs caused alarm among his family members and earned him a series of diagnoses, commitments and heavy drug prescriptions, according to court documents describing his medical history.
A mental-health summary says he was physically abused as a young child and began sleeping with a knife at age 9. He used alcohol and drugs and got into criminal trouble as a teen and was finally diagnosed with schizophrenia while in juvenile detention.
Hoge often heard voices, lived on and off with his mother or father, and did not hold a job.
When he was hospitalized, he often threatened to kill staff and had threatened his mother and brother, according to court documents and medical reports.
Hoge was eventually diagnosed with Capgras delusion, whereby he believed family members were replaced by identical impostors. He believed he could use magic and fly into space to prevent people from harming him and that others were trying to use their magic on him, according to his court documents.
Two days before he killed his mother and brother, Hoge went to Northwest Behavioral Services, a King County-contracted clinic where he was an outpatient, and requested a prescription for an antipsychotic medication, according to court records. The nurse practitioner told Hoge he could not have the medication until June 30 and wrote him a postdated prescription.
On June 23, 1999, Walter Williams, Pamela Kissinger’s boyfriend, returned to the Renton-area home he shared with Pamela Kissinger to find Hoge waving an ax. Hoge chased Williams and hit him in the head with the ax. Williams made it back outside the home and called police.
When officers arrived, they found Zach Kissinger lying under a pile of clothes and covered with stab and head wounds. Pamela Kissinger’s body was downstairs, stabbed and wrapped in a comforter. She had been positioned holding a photo of her sons.
After his trial, Hoge was sent to Western State, where he could spend the rest of his life unless it is proved to the court that he is not a danger to the community.
If that happened, he could get a conditional release, starting out in a separate, independent-living facility at the hospital before moving into the community, O’Loughlin said. At that point, she said, the estate money would be useful to pay for continuing therapy and treatment.
Is it fair?
Though it’s not part of the legal determinations, one might wonder whether it seems fair, or moral, for Hoge to inherit money from the mother he killed.
It is, O’Loughlin says.
Hoge’s mother, though burdened by her son’s mental illness, loved and supported Hoge, said his attorney.
“She knew how disabled he was, how his life was basically a living hell,” O’Loughlin said. “Think of your worst nightmare. That’s what it’s like for people with mental illness, but they’re awake. Morally, it’s not their fault.
“But I guess everyone would have to decide that for themselves.”
Never Never Land And The Lack Of Heroes
January 4, 2008
Silly people see the world through kaleidoscope lenses (For a better look at what matters, see Dr Sanity. See this sad song, too).
Mike Huckabee shepherd’s the religious faithful to cast Iowa caucus ballots in his favor, simply because he’s a pastor (of sorts). Nothing else mattered.
John Edwards finishes a respectable second in the caucus and immediately shows the nation what he does best. He lied.
To a cheering local audience, he looked into the cameras and lied to the nation when he said that had an insurance company paid for a liver transplant, a young girl’s life would be saved. He lied when he said her doctors supported the transplant idea. In fact, the transplant would not have saved her life and every doctor allied to the case knew that.
There is a reason Edwards is reviled in North Carolina. In the last presidential election he couldn’t deliver his home state or county. This ‘man of the people’ lives in the largest home in Orange County, NC, and a ’staff’ that reminds us that the ‘old time ways are not forgotten.’
Mitt Romney and Barack Obama have a lot in common. No one knows exactly where they stand on the issues and hat suits their supporters just fine. Their candidates can be anything they want them to be. They are the Cabbage Patch candidates.
Fred Thompson makes great videos. That should come as no surprise to anyone who has watched Law and Order. Fred Thompson says all the things many people want to hear, which is nice considering he does not yet have to contend with an ornery and a culturally corrupt Congress. Yes Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid, were talking about you.
Have you noticed how none of the Democrat candidates want Pelosi or Reid within their no-fly exclusion zones?
Rudy is now banking on Florida’s substantial New York retiree community to launch his campaign in earnest. Apparently a shared love for thin crust pizza and pastrami translates to votes.While we appreciate his heroic efforts after 9/11, that violin solo is getting old.
John McCain is a very nice man. He plays and dances well with everyone. While that may work well in kindergarten, a president of the United States must be willing to go it alone and be unpopular if need be. The White House is not the set of the Teletubbies or Barney.
Hillary wants us to desperately believe that the country need another Clinton administration. Not satisfied with her husband’s lackluster performance in Rwanda, it appears she has every intention of showing him up in Darfur. She has said nothing about the genocide there. She has also said nothing about the 941 FBI files of Clinton enemies ended up in her private study and in her desk drawer in the White House, furniture and gifts that were stolen, her brother, presidential pardons, ad infinitum. It’s only a matter of time before the Pelicano type-investigators come out and threaten Obama supporters.
Why? Because Obama carried the women’s vote in Iowa. Hillary is pissed.
Nice.
The Anchoress corrals context and perspective on all this.
We have one question: Where are the heroes?
