Pride And Prejudice, Part One

MHNN (Ann Arbor, MI)- Mohammed al Fayed told the British inquiry into the death of his son Dodi al Fayed and Princess Diana, was orchestrated by MI-6, Prince Philip, Prince Charles and mysterious  ‘others.’ While these wild allegations were wildly reported, there were other remarks that garnished less attention.

Fayed also told the inquiry that Dr Pat M Santy (PMS), Hillary Clinton and Michelle Obama were in secret talks. Santy is the former NASA organic waste in space specialist therapist and author of the weekly Carnival Of The Insanities.

According to Fayed, they all met outside the Somerset Collection mall in Troy. According to Fayed, the meeting took place in the parking lot of the upscale mall because neither Obama or Clinton were comfortable surrounded by crowds who were into hip hop. Fayed also testified that Diana had told both Hillary and Michelle Obama that she was pregnant and engaged to his son Dodi. When asked about the connection between Diana, Michelle Obama, himself and Dodi, Fayed said that he was determined to keep their communications a secret for fear that CIA, MI-6 and the Mossad would order a ‘hit’ on the Obama family. Fayed also said that Obama supporter Tony Rezko, a Syrian with long and deep ties to the candidate was indicted in a secret court presided over by George Bush, Tony Blair and Prince Phillip, convened specifically so as to keep Rezko from testifying to Her Majesty’s affiliation with the Rothschild’s and to keep information on the CIA implant program hushed up.

The following is a transcript of the meeting between Hillary Clinton (HC), Michelle Obama (MO) and Pat Santy (PMS) as submitted by Mohammed al Fayed.

PMS- It’s so nice to see you.

HC- Michelle, you look so nice in white. Is that outfit new?

MO- Thank you Hillary. let me say that dark colors really are slimming. You look great, much smaller in the booty department.

HC- (laughing) Oh Michelle, I love it when you get ethnic! That’s so adorable! I can recognize that Princeton and Harvard ‘hood affectation anywhere!

PMS- OK, why don’t we talk about why we’re here.

MO- We’re here because this bitch wants to capitalize on her husband’s ‘first black president’ reputation. She wants to ride his coattails into the White House. Well, Billy boy doesn’t look so black now, does he? Besides, the presidency isn’t a welfare program for white politicians.

PMS- That tone isn’t helpful-

MO- Not helpful? Not helpful? Who cares what you think? Did you go to Princeton? Did you go to Harvard? Noooo, you went to UCLA.

PMS- I chose UCLA. I also had an offer from Harvard and Stanford, where Condi Rice studied. I was one of the top medical people at NASA. My reputation is world renowned and my papers and book are considered must reads.

MO- Yeah, I know. But only because you are white.

HC- Michelle, don’t be an idiot. She didn’t get in on an Affimative Action program. I’m not saying you did, but I read your thesis. You seemed obsessed with race.

MO- And I read your thesis, you commie bitch. You hate America as much as I do, only you get to say otherwise because you’re white.

PMS- OK, let’s move on. Why are you really here.

MO- I have a couple of questions for Hillary. Was Diana really killed by MI-6? Was she killed because Dodi wasn’t really white?

HC- Are you nuts? Are you going to suggest that Notorious B.I.G. was killed by Jenny Craig? Maybe Tupac was getting too close to whitey and that’s why he was shot, right? Just how nuts are you?

PMS- This isn’t helpful-

HC, MO- Shut up, white woman-

MO- What gives you the right to call PMS ‘white woman’?

HC- I can call her anything I want, bitch. For what it’s worth, while you were getting your hair and nails done by fancy white folk in Chicago, Bill and I were ‘feeling the pain’ of real, hard working blacks in Arkansas. All that fancy talk about race in Princeton didn’t mean you weren’t going to ‘move on up’ to where the white folk live! Besides, let’s call a spade a spade. Your precious empty headed husband is half white.

MO- You bitch.

PMS- This exchange is very helpful-

HC, MO- Shut up bitch.

MO- Honey, don’t be talking about husbands. I can keep a man- know what I mean?

HC- You make me laugh! You talk down to me but get into bed with mighty whitey Teddy Kennedy!

MO- Is that the best you can do? No response to my ‘keeping a man remark’?

HC- Honey, I’m saving the best for last. I’m a Clinton. I’ve got access to information you can’t even imagine. I know how to use private investigators and how to access files that you don’t even know exist.

PMS- I think we’re heading off into a non productive direction-

HC- Non productive my ass. This bitch isn’t going to outblack me or outwhite me.

MO- What the-

HC- That’s right, bitch, I have your number. When you talk to blalck folk, you’re ‘just anuthu big bootied sistuh.’ When you talk to white folk, you and your Princeton and Harvard eductated ass become a whole lot smaller and a whole lot whiter.

MO- You honky ass cow. Why I’m gonna-

PMS- OK, how about we meet here next week?

HC, MO- OK.

HC- Feels good to unload, doesn’t it Michelle?

MO- Yes, it does. We really need to do this more often.

PMS- Go read Carnival Of The Insanities-

MO- Can you believe she’s still here?

HC- Geez, white folk…

MO- Don’t start, you Lilly white bitch…