Dr Sanity, The Obamas And Reverend White, Part One

MHNN (Ann Arbor, MI)-This past week saw Barack Obama’s campaign was rocked by the release of video tapes of his pastor, Rev. Jeremiah A Wright, spiritual leader of the Trinity United Church of Christ, located on the south side of Chicago.

Late Friday, Pat M Santy, former NASA psychiatrist and organic waste in space disposal expert and author of Carnival Of The Insanities, received a call from the Obama campaign. The candidate needed to speak with her immediately on the Pastor Wright situation. Mr Obama apologized for interrupting her dinner. When asked what was on the menu for the evening, Santy told Obama that she had made fried chicken, collard greens and cornbread. Mr Obama laughed and said his wife Michelle would whip up a similar dinner that even included mashed potatoes. He noted his wife made chicken even Pastor Wright approved of.

Santy agreed to the meeting immediately. Attending were Barack Obama (BO), Michele Obama (MO) and Jeremiah Wright (JW).

The following is a transcript of that meeting.

PMS- Nice to finally meet you, Mr Obama!

MO- Here we go again. The white bitch is taking over.

JW- LAAAAWD, the woman is white- really white! I’m feeling ill already! Well, you are a child of the Lord. May He bless your Lilly white ass and forgive you for persecuting blacks.

PMS- Excuse me? What did I do to persecute blacks?

MO- Tell her! Tell Her! Tell the bitch!

JW- You pay taxes to this government. You participate in the white man’s economy. You are a part of the persecution of Africans in this nation.

PMS- Are you insane? You think you are persecuted here? Tell me what African Utopia you think is better than America. I’ll buy you and your family a one way ticket. Bye bye church, bye bye money from church.

MO- I told you she was a white devil! I told you-

BO- Uh, this isn’t what I had in mind. I want you to know that I distance myself from the Pastor’s words. I do not share his views. They are offensive to me.

PMS- OK, why don’t we start over. Mr Obama, why are you here?

BO- It seems there are many people who want to link my campaign to the ideas of Pastor Wright- ideas I myself categorically reject.

MO- Watch the white bitch-

JW- White she devil, you mean-

BO- Would the two of you just stop please!

JW- Forgive me Obama, you are right. There is no audience here. I can tone it down.

MO- Speak for yourself, dashiki boy! I have a good mind to-

BO- Anyway, this connection to Pastor Wright is becoming a real problem. What do you think is the best way to deal with this problem?

PMS- Maybe you would be best considering the best way to deal with Pastor Wright.

BO- How do you mean?

PMS- Look, you’ve been in the pews of that church for 20 plus years. Pastor Wright married you and baptized your children. Right now, you have to make a choice. You leave his church and find another or take the arrows coming at you.

BO- Why can’t I just reject some of Pastor Wright’s more offensive ideas and claim his message of empowerment?

JW- Yeah! Why not? Tell us you honkey bitch!

MO- Tell her, reverand! Tell Her Lilly white ass!

BO- Michelle, shut up! My mother was a Lilly white bitch!

MO- Yeah, I know. Good thing she had enough sense to-

BO- Enough! Dr Santy, go on please.

PMS- As I was saying, you have a choice to make. Look, suppose I told you I was a member of one of those Idaho white power, Aryan Identity churches. Supposing I told you that while I didn’t agree with the racism aspect of those churches, I spent the last 20 years as a member and was inspired by a lot of what the minister preached. Can you see where I’m going with this?

BO- Yes, I do. But if I leave the church now, they are going to say I abandoned the ‘hood to move in with the white man-

JW- Hell boy, you did that a long time ago! You and Rezko, other big money deals, you working for corporate lawyers, marrying that uppity Affirmative Action woman who went to Princeton, makin’ all that big money after you earmarked cash for the hospital-

MO- What do you mean, uppity Affirmative Action woman?

JW- Homey, we know what you are. You just gave it up for corner boy whose mama made sure he got a white man’s job making lots of money. Don’t play that ‘I’m just a ‘hood girl who made it.’ You and that half white-

BO- Reverand, we’re still going to make our contributiobns to the church-

JW- As I was saying, you married a fine man and you ought to be grateful that the Lord saw fit to enrich you that way. He provided you with an entree into the white man’s world-

BO- I see your point, Dr Santy.

PMS- Michele, we’ll met at the mall again next week with Hillary.

MO- Sure, I’d like that. Do you like bacon in your mashed potatoes? I have the best recipe, from my great aunt. That woman lived in lard! MMMM!

PMS- Sounds great!

JW- That’s the truth! That woman could cook- not a single ounce of white-

BO- Thank you Dr Santy.

JW- And you know, that Carnival Of The Insanities is a hoot! Between you and me, I get some of my best stuff from there! I rewrite it and-

BO- Nice to meet you, Dr Sanity. Maybe we can do this again some time-

MO- The hell you will! You are not meeting with this white b-

PMS- OK by me, Mr Obama. Maybe we can talk about some of those leftist ideologies of yours-

MO- That’s Senator Obama to you-

JW- I’ll be there! Isnt it funny my name rhymes with White? I always wondered what effect that had on me-

BO- Later!