Sanity Squad Does Three Point Insight

Please join us for another Sanity Squad podcast this evening at 8:00 pm! Dr Sanity, Shrinkwrapped, Neo and I will be discussing perception and reality about the US economy; as well as recent events in Basra.

The call in number is is (646) 716-9116. Showtime is a 8 PM tonight.

Brilliance for the taking.

Be sure to listen as the Freudian Final Four gets underway.

The International Rules of Manhood

1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.  Ever

2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:

A) When a heroic dog dies to save its master .
B)   The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
C)   After wrecking your boss’ car.
D)   One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into “The Crying Game”.
E)   When she is using her teeth.

3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies (and not in that way we hear about in San Francisco)

4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

5: If you’ve known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever, unless you actually marry her.

6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy’s fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy’s birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy’s choice.

8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who’s playing.

10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you give her a Dutch Oven (trapping her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment), she’s officially your girlfriend and can actually be branded as such

11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you’re sunning on a tropical beach… and it’s delivered by a topless model and only when it’s free.

12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.

13: Unless you’re in prison, never fight naked.

14: Friends don’t let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.  Really.  Move along

15: If a man’s fly is down, that’s his problem, you didn’t see anything.  And you shouldn’t have even been looking there in the first place.

16: Women who claim they “love to watch sports” must be treated as spies until
they demonstrate knowledge of the game with particulars.  this can include:

A)   Being able to recognize a play
B)   Recognizing a foul in the course of play and call it before the Ref  does
C)  Knows a player’s stats going back at least five years; Knowledge of   college career means she’s a keeper
D)  She’s able to drink as much as the other sports watchers.

17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that’s just greedy.

19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you’d better be talking about his choice of beer.

20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she’s withholding sex pending your response.

21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights: A) Yeah, Baby, Push it!
B) C’mon, give me one more! Harder!
C) Another set and we can hit the showers!
D) Looking great babe
E) Feel the burn.  Yeah, that’s it.  Oooh yeah

22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.

23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. If hte situation warrants, lie about some plausible thing you have to do then hang up if immediately.

24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly “just a friend” have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you’re feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was occurs.

25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is never, EVER acceptable for her to drive yours.

26: Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.

27: The girl who replies to the question “What do you want for Christmas?” with “If you loved me, you’d know what I want!” gets an X-box and all the power tools I’ve always wanted.   End of story.

28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men’s Gymnastics. Ever. We’ve all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition of each is listed below.

“GUTS” is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to say, “Are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?”

“BALLS” is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say, “You’re next!”

Terror Down Under

Machete Wielding Teenagers Attack School reads the headline. The attack has stunned Australia.

A group of teenagers armed with baseball bats and machetes attacked Australian teachers and students on Monday, injuring 18 people and forcing a high school in Sydney to be locked down, police said.

We wrote in Why There Are Piles Of Dead Bodies At Virgina Tech:

When violence or threats of violence are considered legitimate forms of political or social expression, inevitably violence or threats of violence will manifest themselves.Terror has become an accepted form of political and social expression, that status granted by those who most profess to be non violent or peaceful.

The terror we see here has it’s origins in faraway places brought to our TV screens every day.

Those in this country who defend, apologize and legitimize the terror and evil committed elsewhere have facilitated the introduction of terror in this country.

If we allow or excuse terror elsewhere, it is only a matter of time before that terror will manifest itself on our shores. What is terror here has to be regarded as terror everywhere, no matter what one might think of the ’cause.’

We also noted that

“Terrorism” is a description of a means, a method of deliberately attacking or threatening to attack civilian targets in order to achieve political goals. “Freedom fighting” is a description of an end, as a freedom fighter’s goal is national liberation. An individual could participate in “terrorism” and “freedom fighting” simultaneously, because one word describes means, while the other describes ends. To say that a Palestinian suicide bomber is not condemnable as a terrorist because the bomber’s cause is national liberation is to argue that the end justifies the means.”

Terror is strategic weapon, designed to inflict fear- and thus increase leverage in negotiations or bargaining. Terror isn’t always the world away we think it is…

The deliberate use of terror comes about as the result of the failure of eliciting a particular desired response in negotiation. In other words, terror has become an acceptable form of expression and pressure exerted when individuals, groups or ideologues don’t get their way. The deliberate use of terror is not birthed in ‘humiliation,’ or ‘desperation.’ [emp- SC&A]

Terror is strategic weapon, designed to inflict fear…

What happened at Virgina Tech, the school in Australia and elsewhere are the legacy of leftist ideologies that made their affinity for some of the most racist, bigoted and vicious regimes, movements and individuals a focus point of their existence. They have legitimized terror as a perfectly acceptable form of expression.

The Family Van Gogh

Beaucoup work today, so posting will be light. Check out fellow Sanity Squad members Dr Sanity, Shrinkwrapped and Neo-neocon for all the things we would have said if we had the time.

After much careful research, it has been discovered that the artist Vincent Van Gogh had many relatives. Among them were:

His obnoxious brother: Please Gogh
His dizzy aunt: Verti Gogh
The brother who ate prunes: Gotta Gogh

The brother who worked at a convenience store: Stopn Gogh
The grandfather from Yugoslavia: U Gogh
His magician uncle: Wherediddy Gogh

Mexican cousin: Ahmee Gogh
The Mexican cousin’s American half brother: Green Gogh
The nephew who drove a stage coach: Wellsfar Gogh

The constipated uncle: Cant Gogh
The ballroom dancing aunt: Tang Gogh
The bird lover uncle: Flamin Gogh

His nephew psychoanalyst: E Gogh
The fruit loving cousin: Man Gogh
An aunt who taught positive thinking: Wayto Gogh

The little bouncy nephew: Poe Gogh
A sister who loved disco: Go Gogh
And his niece who travels the country in a van: Winnie Bay Gogh

Badly behaved Venezualan cousin; Hew Gogh
Sicilian cousin: Day Gogh
Cousin in North Dakota: Far Gogh
Dockworker cousin: Car Gogh
Drummer cousin: Bon Gogh

Cousin who wears pith helmet: Con Gogh
Russian cousin: Dr Zhiva Gogh
Gambling great aunt: Been Gogh
Ad exec: Low Gogh

Suggestions accepted