Late Night Laugh: Kisses

If It Bleeds It Leads, Race Relations And Bomb Envy

If it bleeds, it leads’ updated’

The annulment of a young Muslim couple’s marriage because the bride was not a virgin has caused anger in France, prompting President Sarkozy’s party to call for a change in the law.

The decision by a court in Lille was condemned by the Government, media, feminists and civil rights organisations after it was reported in a legal journal on Thursday. Patrick Devedjian, leader of the ruling Union for a Popular Movement, said it was unacceptable that the law could be used for religious reasons to repudiate a bride. It must be modified “to put an end to this extremely disturbing situation”, he said.

The case, which had previously gone unreported, involved an engineer in his 30s, named as Mr X, who married Ms Y, a student nurse in her 20s, in 2006. The wedding night party was still under way at the family’s home in Roubaix when the groom came down from the bedroom complaining that his bride was not a virgin. He could not display the blood-stained sheet that is traditionally exhibited as proof of the bride’s “purity”.

Mr X went to court the following morning and was granted a annulment on the grounds that his bride had deceived him on “one of the essential elements” of the marriage. In disgrace with both families, she acknowledged that she had led her groom to believe that she was a virgin when she had already had sexual intercourse. She did not oppose the annulment.

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The Green Defense?

Police in Iowa say a man caught with a large quantity of marijuana claimed all he had in mind was recycling.

A complaint by the Johnson County Sheriff’s Office says the 30-year-old man told police in Iowa City that he planned to turn several large bags of marijuana into compost.

Officers report the bags he had when he was arrested early Saturday held a “gallon” or more of marijuana each.

The complaint says officers didn’t buy the compost story. The suspect remained in jail Sunday without posting $14,000 bail on a charge of possessing marijuana with intent to distribute.

“Meet A Black Guy”

The booths at the Saturday Corvallis Farmers’ Market have a wild mix of fresh produce, tasty food, plants and flowers.

But this week, a table just outside the bazaar offered something more bizarre — “Meet a Black Guy.”

Those who participated in the free service could chat with 21-year-old Corvallis resident Jeff Oliver, and get pictures taken with him.

“It’s a statement about diversity in Corvallis. It’s not a very diverse place,” said Oliver, a lifelong Oregonian. He hoped to promote understanding, break stereotypes and perhaps even provide a comedic moment for hundreds of people strolling along the riverfront.

The booth drew a mixed reaction, however.

“I think this is hysterical. The entire market’s great,” said Jeremy Stand of the Bronx, who was in Corvallis to visit family. Oregon, in general, is a pretty Caucasian place, he said.

“It’s a clever way of engaging people with dialogue about the need for more diversity in the community. It kind of caught me by surprise,” said Annette Mills, who moved to Corvallis more than a year ago.

Sherry Littlefield of Corvallis said the booth was unnecessary. She and friend Ron Naasko said they have black friends, and would be voting for Barack Obama for president.

“I guess I don’t care what color people are. Either you’re a jerk or you’re not,” Littlefield said.

“I think it’s degrading. It’s a little bit low class,” Naasko said. He added that he wouldn’t set up a booth saying for people to meet someone in a wheelchair, like him.

The idea for “Meet a Black Guy” came from Sean Brown, a Linn-Benton Community College student and a co-worker of Oliver’s at the Darkside Cinema.

About 50 people signed up to receive e-mail from Oliver and Brown, including their free photos, and several others stopped by the booth, some asking pointed questions of the duo.

Brown didn’t know if he and Oliver would be back next week. But if they are, a sign also will say, “Meet a Jewish white guy,” Brown said.

“There’s a lot of churches here. Not a lot of temples.”

Bomber Envy:

Muslim extremist women are challenging al Qaeda’s refusal to include – or at least acknowledge –women in its ranks, in an emotional debate that gives rare insight into the gender conflicts lurking beneath one of the strictest strains of Islam.

In response to a female questioner, al Qaeda No. 2 leader Ayman Al-Zawahri said in April that the terrorist group does not have women. A woman’s role, he said on the Internet audio recording, is limited to caring for the homes and children of al Qaeda fighters.

His remarks have since prompted an outcry from fundamentalist women, who are fighting or pleading for the right to be terrorists. The statements have also created some confusion, because in fact suicide bombings by women seem to be on the rise, at least within the Iraq branch of al Qaeda.

A’eeda Dahsheh is a Palestinian mother of four in Lebanon who said she supports al-Zawahri and has chosen to raise children at home as her form of jihad. However, she said, she also supports any woman who chooses instead to take part in terror attacks.

Another woman signed a more than 2,000-word essay of protest online as Rabeebat al-Silah, Arabic for “Companion of Weapons.”

“How many times have I wished I were a man … When Sheikh Ayman al-Zawahri said there are no women in al-Qaida, he saddened and hurt me,” wrote “Companion of Weapons,” who said she listened to the speech 10 times. “I felt that my heart was about to explode in my chest…I am powerless.”

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The Canvas Of Faith

Why is faith difficult for the believer? Why does the believer persevere?

These aren’t questions of faith, nor do these question address the struggle for faith. Rather, we want to look inside the mind of a believer, to find out what it is about faith that is so compelling. What is it about faith that envelopes believers, even in the darkest days?

Believers know only too well the challenges faith presents. There are inner conflicts each believer must somehow come to terms with, and there are conflicts that originate from without. In each case and over time, those conflicts escalate.

Believers must deal with the inner peace that comes from the knowledge and awareness that God is always at our side. Also near the surface is the loneliness, despair and feeling of abandonment when God appears to be silent.

Between the ecstasy and the agony of these two very human, but disparate emotions, lies the human condition. Many mental health experts would say that to live a life in which conflict is so prevalent, is to choose a life defined by chaos. The ‘even keel,’ they say, is the way to go. Others would say that the chaos of religion affords the individual a certain inner peace, direction, meaning and purpose to life. Some of the most religious people lead the most meaningful lives.

While the chaos of faith makes no sense to the atheist, the believer that thrives on struggling with the relationship he or she has with God, because it is in the acceptance and nature of the struggle that their values are derived.

When we accept faith with blind certainty and a closed mind, doubts and uneasiness will gnaw at us throughout our lives. If we approach faith with questions and openness, we will find the sureness, certainty and meaning we need.

Real faith is also progressive, demanding more from us not only more in actions, but in accepting ‘outside the box’ ideas. It is from God that we learn that meaning of diversity. It is from God that we learn that the life of all has great meaning and that no loves are expendable.

The Old Testament, the sacred text that documents and chronicles the covenant God establishes with the Jews, also includes the Book of Job. That scroll documents the most extraordinary travails, trials and triumph of a non Jew. That non Jewish hero, Job, is declared by God to be his favorite among all men.

The believer amalgamates all kinds of diversity that is learned from faith.

Job, destined to become God’s favorite, questions the cruelty visited upon him, but never for a moment abandons trust in God. In the Book of Jonah, it is God who interrogates and questions Jonah and asks, how a messenger of God could not find pity on the residents of Nineveh.

The prophet Jonah seems more lost than the simple Job.

There is more diversity.

In an age of great patrimony, The Old Testament Song of Songs, celebrates the beauty, sensuality and sexuality of women. The Book of Esther elevates the women in the tale of the rescue from the tyrant. Indeed, it is the women of the story that understand the magnitude of what is unfolding and it is the women who devise the strategy and plan the actions that redeems not only them, but their respective nations as well. The Queen of Persia maintains her dignity by refusing to submit to the drunken demands of the King. Esther the King’s consort, refuses to be intimidated by those who would destroy her people.

One woman stands up for the dignity of her gender and refuses the abuse heaped upon her. The other stands up for her people and refuses the abuse heaped upon her people. Two extraordinary women, two extraordinary lessons.

What separates religious diversity and ‘progressive’ diversity is character.

In the Judeo-Christian ethic, religious diversity and values are measured by the content of character. Secular, progressive diversity is about the color of one’s skin. Content of character and behavior mean little, if anything.

It is the content of character that defined Tamar and Ruth, non Jews that were destined to be the ancestors of the psalmist David, King of Israel.

Even content of character is expressive of diversity. The Apostles were very different, in temperament and view. Some were great thinkers, others were very simple. Nevertheless, each was to preach the Gospel and each was to paint a different brush stroke on the canvas on what was to become Christianity.

The diversity of real faith is exemplified by the biblical examples the faithful turn to.

Joseph dreams, but never talks to God. He becomes an Egyptian dignitary but never forgets or abandons his heritage.

Esther, who saved her people, is known first as the queen and only second as a Jewess.

Daniel, of lions den fame, is a stickler for the Law. He is known first as a Jew, as are many other Prophets.

That there is plenty of religious diversity is no question. What unites the diverse individuals that religion celebrates, are the ideas and content of character.

It is the order that is derived from the chaos that attracts and hold people of faith so tightly.

As we grow and evolve as human beings and spiritually, it is precisely because there is real diversity in the expressions of faith, that religion strengthens our very being. Our identities and faith are reinforced as we progress on our respective journeys. We do not need to leave behind what have learned so that we may continue to grow. Just the opposite, in fact- if we want to grow, we must acknowledge the road we have taken. Believers in God can no more escape that reality than they can escape their own identity. Running away and hiding does not reinvent who we are and who we are meant to be.

We wrote, in Order, Chaos and God that

Like art and literature, religion today asks those things that challenge the status quo and demand we respond. It is in those responses that we often see new horizons- John Paul II, JB Soloveitchik, Kierkegaard and host of lesser known current religious thinkers have forced a kind of ‘chaos’ upon us- the status quo was not good enough. Like the School of Paris painters at the beginning of the 20^th century that forced us to look at the world in a way that wasn’t necessarily representational, religious thinkers provide the chaos we need to grow. God may be Mozart and Rembrandt, but He is no less Picasso and Coltrane.

…when Nietzsche declared that ‘God is dead,’ he was to a large degree correct. The God that Nietzsche referred to was indeed passing. The Church, once repressive and oppressive, was undergoing a transformation. It was understood that God no longer demanded uniformity or wanted to obliterate self expression. In fact, God celebrated the very things that were foundational to the Age of Enlightenment. As it turned out, God was perfectly able to look out for his own interests, without agendized human interventions. That is a truth rarely referred to- and it is an important truth. The founders of this country were fleeing religious persecution and in fact, the principles and guarantors of freedom in this country were deemed to be religious rights and not just secular rights. God made room for all kinds of believers and non believers. Free will no longer had any fine print attached to it.

Faith is the ever evolving learning and teaching endeavors of a lifetime- and real diversity is the canvas upon which those ideas are represented.

Portions of this post have been previously published.

Identity And Status

Politics is a lot like religion. We pick a team, play for that team and proudly identify with that team. Our political identity goes a long way in conferring upon us a set of values and rules that help shape our community. Of course, we don’t have to share a political identity to share certain values. In western society, we value democracy and the freedoms that guarantees irrespective of political affiliation and identity. Political identity is acquired and refined over time (and sometimes changed. See Neo-neocons excellent series, A Mind Is A Difficult Thing To Change).

Our true and real identity, that visceral part of us that instinctively relates to our family and ethnic group is fundamental to existence. Our real identity defines not only our best values and beliefs, but identity also defines our center, the best of who we are and where we come from. It is in that part of our identity in which we find our greatest comfort and our greatest potential at the same time.

Identity should not be confused with status. That more ethereal idea also identifies us, but in a different way.

Status is less about an idea and more about a concrete and definitive expression of ourselves, outside the group. Some of us are recognized as more influential than others, some less so. Some are more educated, others are recognized for their skills. Some people are more charitable, others are more parsimonious. The individual ‘who we are’ is confers a kind of status on us and in doing so, establishes a social pecking order of sorts.

Of course, talking about identity and status is fraught with hazard. Bell Curve authors Hernstein and Murray were excoriated and practically run out of academia on rail for suggesting that people are different and learn differently. Jeremiah Wright, former minister at Trinity United Church in Chicago, said the same thing and is hailed as a ‘visionary.’

Larry Summers suggested that there might be factors outside of cultural socialization to explain why more men than women were more attracted to the sciences and engineering professions. He postulated that men might have a different set of innate skills and abilities than women. Under a firestorm of controversy, Summers left his position as president of Harvard University. It seems his perceived identity was more important than his earned status as a man of letters and science.

It should be noted that Summers was quoting Steven Pinkers’ book, The Blank Slate. In it, he recounts an exchange with a female colleague:

Look, I know that males and females are not identical. I see it in my kids, I see it in myself, I know about the research. I can’t explain it, but when I read claims about sex differences, steam comes out of my ears.

When it is all said and done, the ‘who we are’ is not determined by our gender, church or our political affiliations. The real ‘who we are’ is determined by our status in our community, a status that is earned and not bestowed. We have to earn the right to distinguish ourselves- not by claiming a particular identity, but by contributing to our own group and our greater community.

In much of the Muslim world, it is believed that religion alone confers a superiority or inferiority. It is not hard to understand why such ideas are so ferociously held. Their is a world that has contributed very little to the community at large. Theirs is an existence that consumes and does not create. It is no wonder that radical Islam wants to destroy the earned status of the west. Their fight is a desperate one. They are not fighting us so much for who we are, as many might say, but rather, for who they are not now and have not been for a thousand years. They are fighting the human and cultural evolution that has passed them by because of dysfunctional leadership and the mistaken belief that identity alone guarantees them a seat at the table of first world and civilized nations and societies.

Many Arab Muslims need to believe in the fantasies and mythologies that place the blame for Arab cultural and societal failures on others. If they do not do that, they must look in the mirror of reality and place the blame where it belongs- on the very identity they so ferociously cling to. They would have to admit that everything they were taught, stand for and believes in- that identity trumps status, is a lie. They would have to concede that their lives have been wasted.

Much of the identity of an abused child centers around the sad truth that as he or she  grows up, the child learns (subconsciously) to equate abuse with love. When confronted with even the most vile kinds of abuse, that now grown up individual will always perceive the abuse as love. When confronted and victimized by abuse, that individual will frame and preserve every kind of abuse as an expression of love. They will insist they were deserving of the punishment. They will say that the abuse is yet more proof that that the victimizer cares and loves them. This is an integral part of the identity of the child. The child assigns no status to his or herself. The therapist will struggle to help that abused child (or later adult) assign a value, a status to themselves outside their identity as being victims of abuse.

One of the accepted hallmarks of civilized society is an accepted code of moral behavior. No matter one’s ethnic or cultural identity, prejudices, biases or beliefs, we are all expected to behave in a certain way. We are all expected to treat others, regardless of their religion, culture or creed, in the same way we ourselves expect to be treated. We assign ourselves and others, a certain status. If that accepted code of moral behavior is not present in a particular society, that society cannot be counted as civilized. Individuals, cultures and religions cannot count on identity alone to assign worth. Individuals, cultures and religions who demand a privileged status for themselves and a reduced status for others cannot be counted as a credible members of a civilized society any more than can members of the Ku Klux Klan claim moral credibility.

It is not uncommon to see NBA or NFL players dress like corporate CEO’s. They wear tailor made suits and shirts that can cost in the thousands. They wear one thousand dollar shoes and have only the finest of accessories. Why? Because they believe if we see them dressed like CEO’s or other professionals, we will accord them more respect and status and take their utterances more seriously. Wearing those kind of clothes, they believe, will camouflage the reality that their entire identity and is valued predicated on how well they handle a ball.

Like the athletes that desperately need to be valued for something other than what is no more than a pastime for most, much of the Arab world desperately wants to be valued for something other than the behavior in which they engage, tolerate or promote. They desperately want to be seen as something other than hate filled, desperate and dismissive of the western world and western values of freedom. As time goes by, the fantasy becomes more grotesque. They become the victims. Never do they seek to elevate their own status- they only seek to play a shell game with the victimhood identity.

In truth, the Arab world cannot be proud of their identity. The Islamic and Arab cultures that achived so much status in the past and  that has contributed mightily to the progress of mankind exist no more. Their identity is now defined by religious intolerance, hate, violence and even genocide. There is very little the Arab world has to be proud of- and pointing to past glory and status only serves to highlight how far they have fallen. All the phony ‘Arab pride’ (read: identity) in the world has not motivated them to build. All they have done is destroy- and that destruction is a symptom of self hatred. People who hate themselves, destroy everything and everyone around them.

People that believe in their higher selves, build. The same is true for nations.

Religions, nations, societies and cultures are not remembered for what they destroy or allow to be destroyed. They are remembered for what they have built and they ideals they pursue that elevate mankind.

As this election season unfolds, we need to remember that as well.