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MHNN (Ann Arbor, MI)- Pat M Santy (PMS), author of the weekly Carnival Of The Insanities (COTI) has once more been contacted by the Obama campaign.

The Democrat candidate has asked Santy, former NASA organic waste in space specialist to assist with their search for a vice presidential candidate in an unofficial capacity. Despite their clear political differences, Obama believes that a candidate who might appeal across a wide politcal spectrum would strike a chord with a lot of voters.

Initially, Santy declined the offer to be a part of the VP search team in any capacity. However, she had a change of heart when MIchelle Obama asked her what she though of Dennis Kucinich.

Santy remarked, ” Holy Crap! She isn’t kidding!”

What follows is the transcript of the initial working meeting between Dr Santy and Barack and Michele Obama.

BO- Hello, Dr Sanity. Nice to see you again.

PMS- Thank you. Nice to be here.

MO- You’re white. Remember that.

PMS- Mr Obama, why do have a presidential type seal on the back of your chair, on the wall and suspended like a mobile from the ceiling?

BO- I’m practicing.

PMS- Excuse me? What are you practicing?

BO- I’m praticing being president. Everyone says I have no real qualifications or experience to be the president. I’m practicing by getting used to the great seal of the president. If I’m elected, I’ll have way more experience than Jon McCain around the seal.

PMS- I see.

MO- What do you mean by that, white bitch? Do you have a problem with a black man practisng to be president?

PMS- No- but I think there are better ways to prepare-

BO- Michelle, calm down-

MO- You you white bitch racist! Black men don’t prepare for being president in the same way white men do! Didn’t you hear Reverend White? Blacks are different than whites. We don’t learn in the same way-

BO- That’s enough, Michelle!

MO- Who do you think you-

BO- I SAID SHUT UP MICHELLE!

MO (mumbling)- Damned white cracker…

PMS- Why don’t we move along.

BO- Yes.

MO- Great. Just great.

PMS- Have you given thought to a woman VP candidate?

MO- If you think that fat assed sister of yours, Hillary Clinton-

BO- That would help to unify the party-

MO- Hell will freeze over before that bitch signs on! There is now way I’m putting up with Bill’s learing and snide remarks for 4 years.

PMS- I didn’t necessarily mean Hillary. I mean any woman. Why not Janet Napolitano? Kathleen Sebelius? I don’t like their politics but they made it up the hard way- they earned their bona fides.

MO- And their both white.

BO- They are good candidates, Michelle.

MO- White candidates.

PMS- Michelle, do you have a problem with white people?

MO- Why would you ask that, honky bitch?

PMS- I’m seeing a pattern-

BO- enough-

MO- Yes, you are. It’s called white privilege-

BO- Enough. Enough.

MO- Sure, you half white Kansas boy…

BO- They are old school. I want someone new, someone who can effect change.

PMS- Well, it isn’t as if you are a new kind of politician.

BO- What do you mean?

PMS- You are a creation of the Chicago Democrat Machine. You are beholden to the Chicago Democrat Machine.

BO- Well, I suppose-

PMS- Hear me out. You are talking about race and identity politics because you have to. Otherwise, we’d be talking about Jeremiah Wright, Bill Ayers, Tony Rezko and every other jerk in Chicago who can deliver money and votes. Everyone knows Chicago Democrats are all beholden to the machine because without that machine there is patronage to hand out no precinct wardens who make threats to get out the vote and worst of all, no mystery voters.

MO- Look, you are being pretty harsh. Barack is a good man.

PMS- You think I’m being harsh? I’d have been a lot more impressed with Obama had he challenged the century old Cook County Democrat legacy of corruption, racism and voter disenfranchisement.

BO- Pat, don’t go there-

PMS- Why not, Barack? It isn’t as if these things are a secret. The Chicago and Cook County Democrat machines have been racist and disenfranchising minority voters for a very long time- and you have said and done nothing to address that.

BO- I will.

PMS- No, you won’t. You are happier blaming George Bush for everything that is wrong in the world- even the bad weather. Let me ask you a question, Barack: Why did blacks under George Bush improve their school test scores while Chicago scores went down?

MO- There could be lots of reasons-

PMS- Michelle, when George Bush was Governor of Texas he made a commitment to improve the schools and quality of education and that is exactly what he did. He was reelected with record Hispanic and Black support. People aren’t stupid, Michelle. George Bush delivered. He earned those votes because the ‘velvet glove of lowered expectations’ wasn’t acceptable in Texas- like it is in Chicago.

BO- Look-

PMS- Sorry, Barack, you can’t Harvard talk your way out of this reality. You never once took on the Chicago and Cook County Democrat machine. How come you didn’t want to ‘change’ Chicago, Barack?

BO- Pat, change is hard-

PMS- Politics isn’t a Vonage commercial! How can you clean up and change Washington when you won’t even address the filth and dirt in your own back yard? Don’t you see you are covered in that filth? How can claim to be different when in many ways, you are worse! Barack, you can’t say you are about change if you ignore and won’t speak out on the Chicago and Cook County Democrat machine racism and legacy of voter disenfranchisement.

MO- Can people really see this?

PMS- Yes Michelle. Why do you think you are so bitter? Your rage is about the institutionalized racism that you had to endure. Why didn’t you demand Barack stand up and fight that?

MO- Well, the machine is-

PMS- Don’t blame the machine. You went off to college, did well and got yours. Now you want more. You say you want people to get involved with their community. Will you support a struggle against Democrat racism and voter disenfranchisement? Or now that you have civil rights in the rear view mirror, does your idea of help and giving back mean passing out more checks on the first of the month? Time for some soul searching, you know?

BO- Who would you pick for VP? Can I get that dead shrinks guy?

PMS- Next week, big boy, next week. In the meantime, get rid of the stupid Barack Obama seal and read the Carnival Of The Insanities. That will really help you prepare.