Yes, We Have No Bananas And Other Themes From The Obama Campaign

MHNN (Ann Arbor, MI)- Pat M Santy author of Carnival Of The Insanities (COTI) has been contacted by the Obama campaign once more to help them navigate through a potential PR nightmare.

Recent statements by the Democrat candidate have highlighted a historical shallowness. In a recent speech, Obama referenced a single bomb that was dropped on Pearl Harbor. In addition, recent revelations about illegal foreign campaign contributions have surfaced and are now beginning to dog the candidate all reminiscent of the Clinton-Gore era.

Attending the meeting with Dr Sanity was Michele Obama.

What follows is the transcript of the first of two meetings.

Pat M Santy (PMS)- Nice to see you again, Senator.

Barack Obama (BO)- I’m always glad when we get the opportunity to talk.

Michele Obama (MO) Well la di da. Here I am, stuck in a room with a white bitch.

PMS- Senator, sure you had to know that Pearl Harbor was about a whole lot more than one bomb.

BO- Of course I did!

PMS- So why did you make that remark?

BO- Force of habit.

PMS- What do you mean?

MO- What he means bitch, is that we always minimize or ignore atrocities that are committed by non whites.

PMS- Why is that?

MO- What kind of dumbass question is that? There can be no evil greater than evil committed by white folks- ever. In fact, we will exaggerate-

BO- Michele, please stop-

MO- Why should I stop?

BO- Just shut up for once!

MO- There goes your booty call, you half white mother-

PMS- Is that true, Barack? Atrocities by non whites are played down so as to make the white man more evil?

BO- Sadly, yes. That’s why I want to have an open an discussion about race in this country. We need to get away from that kind of thinking.

PMS- But if we need t get away from that kind of thinking, why are you so keen on making racial inequality a part of the campaign?

MO- Because we need to win, Doc.

PMS- But why not campaign and win on merit?

BO- Honestly Doc, we are going to take advantage of every angle. That’s why we can pull away from the hard left and move toward the center. The lefties will follow us anywhere and give us their vote. Look, it’s really simple. The lefties don’t see the world like I do. They don’t have to live in the same neighborhoods I do. All they have to do is say ‘FREE MUMIA!’ and they think they’re progressives. As long as the White man is always painted as the oppressor, they’ll follow me anywhere.

PMS- But it’s a sham!

MO- Of course it is! We’re gaming the system! Look, we don’t need those lefty morons to win the election. We need the middle to win the elections! We’re black, so the hard left will support us no matter how many times we throw them under the bus. All far as they are concerned, all we have to do is stay black and pretend we’re oppressed. That way, we can talk white to the white folks, which isn’t all that hard to do.

PMS- How do you mean?

BO- Both Michele and I worked our way out of the bottomless pit. We have more in common with with Bill Cosby and immigrants than we do with the likes of Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton. We succeeded because we took advantage of the opportunities that we placed in front of us, not because we ‘overcame’ anything. If Al and Jesse really cared, they’d be making a bigger stink about how come more young blacks drop out of high school instead of talking trash about Don Imus.

MO- Well, Imus was white so that’s OK. I mean, look at Michael Jackson- we don’t treat him nearly as badly because he’s black. He may be a sick pervert but he’s black, so it’s OK. By the way, about Mumia, don’t let him out. That boy gunned down an officer in cold blood. We want him just where he is.

PMS- That’s just crazy! You mean this is all a game?

MO- Yup. And as long as those dumbasses keep buying into the white guilt thing and as long as Al and Jesse keep talking that black man as victim stuff, we’re cruisin’.

BO- Look, why do you think I appear to be so sympathetic to the Palestinians? Hell, no one in their right mind can ignore their political, moral and even religious failures! On the other hand, who cares? Jews are successful and all successful people are perceived as ‘white,’ no matter what their skin color- and the white man is always to blame.

PMS- So that’s why Arab world failures are always attributed to ‘colonialism’- a reference to white people.

BO- You got it. I mean, think about this. The Arab world wants you to believe that colonialism is the root of all evil. The truth is that their failures are their own. When all is said and done, there are three things that inspire or impede achievement or progress. Those things are principles, values and beliefs.
There are societies whose principles, values and beliefs made achievement and progress inevitable. Those are the cultures and societies that embraced change, and they valued those who carved out that change. It’s that simple. The Palestinians have deliberately chosen failure.
PMS- That’s pretty stark.

BO- That’s reality. Colonialism has been used as the scapegoat for hindering change, but that excuse is wearing thin. Blaming colonialism is an excuse for those who refuse to join the rest of a modern and productive society. I mean, what positive characteristics can you attribute to a people who embrace the likes as Samir Kuntar as a hero?

PMS- In that we can agree. The progress of nations, cultures and societies are not about about environment, race or any other extraneous stimulus. That progress is determined by principles, values and beliefs. Blaming Whitey, the Jews or colonialism for failure just doesn’t wash. It’s about choices- individual, cultural, political and societal.

BO- You got it.

PMS- So if we’re on the same page, why all the animus? Why the phony allegiance to the left?

BO- Because I needed them and their money. Now that I have the nomination, I’ll keep on taking their money and throw them under the bus as needed. I’m a Chicago Democrat. I don’t stand for anything except my own interests. Now, my job is to impress white folks.
In our great nation, politics really is color blind. We can screw everyone, all the time.

PMS- I need to read Carnival Of The Insanities- again.